Warning: If you are easily offended by language, profanity or open discussion about sex, love and/or relationships, read no farther. This post is for those open minded people who wish to have a conversation about their personal lives in an effort to improve them and those who engage in the discussion with them. Again, if you are easily offended, STOP READING NOW!!!!!!!!
I get asked on a regular basis how my readers feel about the use of sex toys. You would think that this question comes from only men or only women. The reality is that both men and women ask the question and I finally thought it needed to be addressed.
It is interesting how many people are interested in the use of marital aids and if other people use them. With the internet, adult novelty stores, and adult in home parties I would have thought that the information would be out there and everywhere to find. And it is. But what people want to know has nothing to do with themselves as much as it has to do with the how they fit in with everybody else.
You see, there have been marital aides, sex toys, novelty devices, what ever you want to call them, for decades. Magazines made it easier to order them rather than having to personally visit the seedy adult “book store”. They were delivered in a “non-descript” package that screamed “Hello! Vibrator inside”. The mail carriers knew everyone on their routes that had personal items delivered. Don’t forget the flood of not so non-descript mailings that followed. I ordered them, I went to the adult book stores (and I still do) and so did any other neighbor who wished to enhance their sex lives via these interesting little battery operated devices.
Now we have the internet which turns our computers into the largest adult novelty stores known to man. We can search things from the mild to the wild. I share the web sites I use with with my family and friends. We discuss not only the items themselves, but how to order, is the company reliable, how long does it take to arrive and what is the cost. Everything you can think of is available, toys for straight sex, gay sex, lesbian sex, bondage, discipline, pain, electricity, water torture, cages, sex furniture (one of my personal favorites) truly anything at all. Pick a subject and just run a Google search. Anything you want to buy or know about is there, except for the one thing we all want to know.
Why Do People Ask Me?
Great question. If it’s all out there to find, browse, learn about and purchase, why is it people want to talk to me about sex toys. I figure it comes down to the truth. I have no problem sharing what I know personally and what I have learned from research and my readers. If it helps anyone to improve their sex lives, I’m all in for the conversation. They ask and I answer. It’s not always comfortable for everyone but they get the answers and in many cases I get new information from them as well.
We have a few very close friends who we will show our new toys to and in turn they do the same for us. It is interesting when you remove the embarrassment from the conversation how interesting it becomes. We love to learn from each other and relive the excitement from a previous nights sexual adventure. Many times I have been shown our friends new items and immediately went out to purchase the same for us. But I would have never known if we were not open to the conversation in the first place. We laugh, drink and talk and have a great time.
I have a close friend who manages an adult store in the south of our state. When I get a chance to visit the first thing I ask is what’s new in the market. She goes from “happy to see you” to “the doctor is IN”. She covers each new item with the expression and delivery of a doctor explaining a new pharmaceutical. No embarrassment, just factual conversation, she’s great and I value her opinion. I never ask her about her other customers I just want the facts and to find out if I’m missing anything I should be aware of. If you ever visit such a store, I recommend the first thing to do is befriend the clerk or manager. They know everything you need to know and will share if you are friendly and interested. So, we still haven’t gotten to the bottom of what we all want to know about the subject of toys…
What We All Want to Know is…
Without fail, each and every person who asks me about toys, my research and my readers wants to know one thing, where do they fit in to the big equation? We want to know if we are weird or strange. Do men like a certain thing? Do women try this at home alone or with their partner? Do men allow toys at home or are they afraid? How do I get my wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend interested? Should I say something or just go buy the damn thing? Who else likes this particular thing?
Am I weird or do I fit in?
If we were to stop and think about it without fear of reprisal, it is obvious that human beings have been engaging in sexual reproduction since the dawn of time, hence reproducing. Since it is such a pleasurable activity, we do it often and attempt to improve upon what we already know. Records indicate that sexual proclivities have been around since recorded history. Now that we have the internet to propagate the spread of new ideas, we think we have found something new that might be seen as a little off key to others in our social networks. Not a chance. I rarely get shocked by anything and this is no different. People have been taking pleasure from each other since the beginning, why stop now?
Do you fit in to what everybody else is doing? Who cares? If it feels good, doesn’t break any laws and is between consenting adult, go for it. If it doesn’t work for you, fine. Just rest assured that you’re no different than any of the others out there asking the same question. Embrace it, get comfortable and enjoy.
And if you have a question, think you can shock me, or just want to chat send me a message. Just don’t be offended by the open and honest dialogue.
Love with no shame and ask with no fear.