Tag Archive for save this marriage

Spicing Up Your Sex Life

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Having hotter sex is an ongoing discussion here at RLA Advisors. Time and again we are asked the same question, “What do you suggest?”. When it comes to improving sex there is no “one size fits all” methodology. Sex is an exercise that requires practice and skill just like most physical activities. Few achieve perfection their first time out. It is important to hang in there and keep trying, but at the same time, get better.

Although not one thing works for everyone, we have a few suggestions.

Be Patient

Don’t rush, be patient with yourself and your partner. There is nothing wrong with a “quickie” but it doesn’t have to happen every time. Take the time to explore yourself and your partner. If you are uncomfortable with either, the experience can be less than thrilling. Knowing your body and your partners makes it easier to find all the right spots.

Caress, fondle and examine. Slowly move from one spot to the next. Take more of an interest in the areas that stimulate your partner. And don’t assume that you know every point that he or she likes. With exploration you may just find a few more.

If You Don’t Know, Ask…

Get comfortable with asking questions. During sex it can be exciting to ask if something feels good. Make a game of it and assist each other with the delightful chore of discovering new pleasure spots. One interesting experiment is to create a list of known pleasure areas for each of you. Once completed, share the lists and explore each other without touching any of the listed regions. Place a time limit on this game because it has the tendency to get hot, quick. When the time is up, go for it!

Asking about sex and erogenous zones with your partner can be a little intimidating at first, but in time this should dissipate. Keep each other engaged in the conversation and you will dive deeper into the discussion every time. Each question and answer should be exchanged without any judgment or prejudice. If you don’t know, you have to get the information from somewhere. What better source than the partner you are trying to please?

Getting the Conversation Going

Outside of the bedroom is my favorite place to discuss sex. And I highly recommend it to others. It forces the dialogue to take a different tone and shape. As you are not in the act, the pressure to perform is removed. Since you are not in “performance mode” you get the chance to discuss and exchange ideas without the benefit of doing right then and there (although this has been known to happen on occasion).

The best and most interesting part of the discussion is your imagination. As you begin to talk about what turns you on, what ideas you have, what you have read or seen, the mind reels with the erotic excitement of the conversation. And being excited makes it easier to talk about. Many studies have been done with regard to the human mind and sexual stimulation. It is proven that we respond to question different when we are turned on. And the more we are sexually excited, the more inclined we are to be open about what we think and feel.

Getting into and keeping the conversation going is a great enhancement to sex. I suggest that if either of you are dispassionate about your sex life, discuss it. But let’s not talk about what’s not working. Dwelling on the dysfunctional part tends to highlight just that.  Concentrate on the good stuff even if you have never made it part of your sexual encounters. Commit to each other to be open and honest and schedule a dinner out, away from the house and plan the evening discussion.

Throughout dinner share sexual likes and desires, no matter how crazy or erotic. Don’t judge just accept the conversation as a simple discussion and see where it goes. Ask question about what you are listening to. Get into the nitty gritty of the ideas. Share the eroticism and the fantasies you each have. You may find that you have some ideas in common, but at the very least, you should have an exciting, sexually charged conversation.

Continue on the drive home and enjoy the rest of the evening. Because conversation is the best foreplay.

Love with no shame and ask with no fear

Bobby

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Saving A Relationship – 3 Ways To Make Your Relationship Work

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If you have looked online for love relationship advice you have probably come across some really bad ideas. Sometimes some even pretty good ideas actually miss the point. While it may be fine to bring your partner flowers or swoop them off for a weekend retreat, the real point of a relationship is the develop an intimate connection together, not see how many trips you can go on. The good news is that you can still begin right now working on your relationship, and the solutions frequently do not even cost a dime.

3 Pieces of Love Relationship Advice that Work

Begin with Respect – While there are many elements necessary to build and maintain a good, strong relationship, you must realize that without respect, you really do not have much of a relationship to save. Sometimes, when you spend so much time with a person, you forget to afford each other the simple respect that you would give to any stranger.

How do you fix this? Simply put, behave differently. A good way to help retrain yourself is to think of someone who you respect so much that they even intimidate you a little. Then when you are speaking with your partner do not say anything to them that you would not say to the person whom you admire. One stupid statement can be the beginning of the end, so be careful.

Offer Your Support – If you really respect each other, then you will naturally support each other. When your partner is excited about something, share in the excitement. As they share their dreams and goals with you, offer them positive support, and help them where you can.

If your partner asks you to look critically at what they are doing and offer your opinion, then feel free to do so, but only in a constructive way. So it is fine to find a flaw with their plan as long as you can justify your thoughts. So be thoughtful before you voice your opinion, and if you are not sure what you think, just support them in their efforts.

Pick your Battles – Of course there are going to be times that your partner gets on your nerves, and there are going to be things that you do that get on their nerves, but guess what? You are probably bugging them right back. You do not want to nag your partner or always be negative. Instead, learn to be tolerant.

Whether you are in a new relationship or have been in the same one for years, some things will never change. You will always need to be a little tolerant, show your support and respect your mate for a relationship to work well. So as you are looking for good love relationship advice you may want to simply listen to your own common sense instead.

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Save This Marriage Using 4 Simple Strategies

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Save This Marriage Using 4 Simple Strategies

While saving a marriage may not be impossible, it is really hard to do it by yourself. When your spouse has one foot out the door, it may seem like any chance of rescuing your relationship is over. If you just maintain a cool head, you will give yourself a chance to find some options to offer your spouse for rethinking their position. By using these strategies, you may be able to bring your spouse around to your way of thinking, and that may be all it takes to redirect your energy as a couple in a positive direction.

The Elements Needed to Save a Marriage

Act As If – Many studies have been conducted which show that how we act actually dictates how we feel. If you feel sad, and you make yourself take a posture of being happy, you will begin to actually feel happy. So if you act like you are a happy couple, you will begin to feel like a happy couple. That does not mean that all of your problems will simply melt away, but it does mean that you are stacking the deck in your favor to help you both remember why you fell in love in the first place. Being happy causes you to remember the good times, and that continues the blissful cycle.

Be Patient – You may want your spouse to behave differently or join you in counseling. If they are not ready to try these things just yet, do not hound them. Begging and threatening are much more apt to cause additional problems rather than fix anything. Ask gently, and ask often. Try not to judge your spouse because they do not move at the same pace that you do. They are processing the problems that you are having as a couple, and maybe what they need for a fix is not what you need for a fix. If you are both genuinely trying to save your marriage, then give them the space to come to their own decisions. Respect their boundaries and keep offering them the opportunity to try new things or to join you in counseling.

Deal with the Issues – If your spouse was at the brink of leaving, then your marriage has problems. So just because he is staying, do not pretend that the problems do not exist. If you do, you will simply be watching them leave another day. Take this opportunity to find out where the problems are in your relationship and fix them. There are a myriad of problems that drive people apart, but if you both genuinely want to work out whatever the problem for your relationship is, you will find a way. If you find that you are stuck, then enlist the help of a counselor. Otherwise, listen to each other, and if you put each other’s needs in front of your own, you may naturally find your fix.

Maintenance – Just because you are having problems in your marriage does not mean that the world stops. You still have a family to care for, work to attend to and other obligations that are outstanding. So it is really to get beaten down when you are dealing with marital problems. Make sure that you look after yourself, so that you have the mental acuity and energy to deal with everything on your plate. You need to eat, sleep and exercise so that you are healthy and can relieve any built up stress. By taking care of your needs, you will be able to solve your problems more effectively as well.

Once your spouse has thrown in the towel on your marriage, it can be difficult to turn things around, but it is possible to do. Try to stay positive and calm, and let your spouse know that you want to try to repair your relationship. By offering some room for your spouse to express their frustrations, it is possible to save a marriage. You may need to enlist the help of a professional, or you my find your way back to happiness on your own. The important thing is that you try.

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How To Overcome Communication Problems In Relationships

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If you want to even begin thinking of saving a relationship the first place you should start is on your communication with your partner. If you’re not communicating that’s not a good thing. Here are a few tips for you to try to overcome your communcation problems in relationships and start saving your relationship

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