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Can The Pec Pop of Love Save Your Relationship

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Can the “Pec Pop of Love” save your relationship through it’s subliminal message?

This message is for both women and men.  In fact this message is just as much for me as it is for you.  Watch an read and you’ll understand.

Watch this clip and we can discuss it when it’s over…

The clip you just watched is from Journey 2:  The Mysterious Island.  One of the main characters is played by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.  He goes on a journey to bond with his step son.  It’s a nice family movie that is fun to watch.  But the key scene you just watched is funny and effective in it’s subliminal message.

You see, Dwayne’s character is dispensing some advice to his step son on how to land the hot girl who is stuck on the island with him.  The boy can’t stand it.

The truth is… there may be some truth to the “Pec Pop of Love” if you take it to another level of understanding.

First, it’s not so much the Pec Pop that’s going to do the trick but the physique, exercise, and commitment it takes to get in shape.

You’re probably wondering how all this comes together but let’s look at some of the benefits of being physically fit and exercising on a regular basis.

  • Exercise is known to reduce depression for both men and women.
  • Physically fit people tend to have a higher stamina in the bedroom.
  • Physically fit people tend to have higher confidence in themselves.
  • That confidence they now have comes across in everything they do and are sexy to the opposite sex.
  • exercise and depression

Those are some great side benefits if you ask me.  Confidence, feeling sexy, higher performance in the bedroom… you can’t ask for more than that for the side benefits of anything.  I don’t know one pill, even the “blue pill” that can do all that.

I’m going to add to the list above for what exercise can do for your relationship…

  • Working out together gives each of you more attention on each other.
  • Working out together allows you to have planned showers together.
  • Working out together gives you a reason to add post workout massages to your agenda.
  • Discover what makes each other relax after a hard workout.
  • Plan to have sex after your workout and while you’re already sweaty.
  • Increase the number of conversations you have on a weekly basis because you’re working out together.
  • Talk more often about important topics while you’re de-stressing at the same time.

As you can see, adding exercise routines together can not only improve your physique, stamina, and confidence, it can bring you and your partner closer together in ways you may have never seen before.  This exercise plan you start doing may open up new conversations.  You may grow confident in each other sexually and start exploring new things.  You may begin to see the benefits of conversation, exercise, and the overall benefits of being TOGETHER.

Now can you see how my thoughts of how the Pec Pop of Love can save your relationship?

I would love to hear your Pec Pop story.  Send us some of your hot, sweaty, workout stories.  I want all the gory details.  Has exercise improve your relationship?  Let us know.

Now, obviously you can see there was a physical aspect to this post and a conversational aspect.  If you’re at all interested in improving your relationship, go grab our new book that is out on Amazon Kindle.

Get it here:  Mancode Secrets Revealed:  Relationship Advice For Women

Love… to infinity and beyond.

Jay

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Relationship Breakthrough Challenge-Part 2

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Relationship ChallengeIf you missed the first part of the Relationship Breakthrough Challenge you can view part 1 here.

Imagine for a moment that you’re at home relaxing.  Your husband comes home a little late from work.  He shows up with a big grin on his face.  He looks at you and says “Look honey, I bought a new car.  Isn’t it great?”

What would be the first reaction you have?

More than likely it would be nearly the same reaction as anytime you’re about to get into a disagreement of this type.  You know, when he does something without telling you and you feel like you should have been informed or better yet, consulted.

Patterns rule our world…

It is through patterns of emotion that we react and deal with things in our lives.  We use the same emotions over and over again because we’ve built a pattern of use that protects us, helps us cope, and gives us some level of comfort in knowing what comes next.  And it is THESE patterns that will keep you confined to a cage of limits to how you can deal with situations.

It is the pattern you default to that limits your ability to see new courses of action to take in your relationship.  Why?  Because you can only react the way you know how.

In fact, you probably don’t even know you do it.  If you don’t know you do it, you can’t have control over it.  And if you don’t have control over it, then your default emotion and reactions run you, you DON’T run them.

Which can be a problem when you’re in a long-term relationship.

Consider that these problems, that you react to in the same way over and over again can cause you massive amounts of stress.  And that could lead to more problems in the relationship, more stress, and even depression.

But…

Where does stress come from?

Stress is created when your view of the world, your view of how your relationship should go, is NOT being met.  You have a standard or expectation of how things in your relationship should go.  And if they don’t go that way, you default to the emotion and reaction for that situation.

Of course that doesn’t do anything to progress your relationship or the situation forward.  In fact it may cause it to get worse.  You’re reacting to everything and never gain an upper hand because you’re falling into a default way of being with your partner.

When those issues don’t go a way and you continue this cycle it impacts you both emotionally and physically.  And that compounds matters.

The true impact of your relationships?

Our relationships magnify our emotions and impact every other aspect of our lives.  If your relationships at home are problematic, they will impact work.  If your relationships at work are problematic they will effect your home life.

Think about times you’ve had a fight with your spouse and leave the house in disgust.  You may have found yourself in a foul mood on the way too work to arrive even worse than when you left the house.  You might even confide in your “girlfriends” at work who will side with your view just because they are your friends.

“How could he do such a thing.”

“He could learn a thing or two.”

All of these comments fuel your anger and you end up taking it out on one of the men in your office.  It all continues to escalate unless it’s handled sooner rather than later.  I would even bet you take your anger out on your kids if you have any.  They’re in your face, constantly wanting something… and you yell at them.  They just want to do what kids do and play.

But where does all this come from and how do you break free?

You lose every ounce of power you have when you react in your default emotion or reaction.  Consider that you give your power away to your past that has you be the way you are.  I’ll explain more about the past in just a minute but for now, I’m sure you’ll agree that you do lose your power in these situations.

You’re not in control.  I bet that when you have a problem or an event takes place that doesn’t go the way you think it should, you blame something or someone.  You might blame the event for causing you to get upset.  You may blame your partner for causing you to “get that way”.  But you rarely if ever take responsibility for how you react.

How could you.  You think it’s some external force causing you to be a certain way.

The problem is that when you blame something and you DO NOT take responsibility for your actions, reactions, and emotions you are at the effect of life.  And when you are at the effect of life you lose all the power in your relationship.  You essentially hand it to whoever will take it, push your button, or cause you to react.

That’s no way to live life.  But it’s how we all have done it for so long.  Until you get responsible.

Hang with me a few more minutes and you’ll get what I’m talking about.

Regain your power!

Consider that the common “thing” in every upset, problem or negative reaction you have is YOU.  And it is YOU who needs to take responsibility for your actions.

You see, no one can push your arm, leg or knuckle and cause you to be mad, sad, or unhappy.  What typically happens is… something happens, you make it mean something, and react to the meaning.

Once you see that it is the meaning that triggers certain emotions, you can take control back.  Once you become aware of this meaning, identify where it comes from, you can now choose whether you’re going to get upset or take a different action.  Your partner isn’t in your head pushing buttons making you be a certain way.  You’re reacting to something he did and the meaning you assigned it.

Once you begin to see that you do have control you can regain your power over every relationship situation.  You get to choose what you get mad at and what you don’t.  But you are no longer at the effect of life.  Now you get to choose when you act and when you don’t.

And that gives you the tool to work things out, talk things out, and deal with the issues instead of get upset and move into your default emotion.  You are now equipped to handle problems quickly and easily.

So how exactly do you deal with a problem?

First, take responsibility for your own emotions and reactions.  “He” didn’t MAKE you do anything.  He did what he did and you made it mean something that caused you to unconsciously react.  Now that you know you do that, you can take responsibility for your reactions and emotions.

Now you can get them under control and confront him without the emotions that hold the conversation back.  You may find your conversation with him now is empowered by who you are being in the situation.  You may find that he respects you more for talking to him in a civil tone rather than reacting how you’ve always done.

By doing this you will gain a level of power with yourself that transcends the relationship and transforms it into something you never thought possible until now.

Change your relationship and change your life…

Here are the steps you can take to improve your relationship, take responsibility for your emotions and reactions, and move your relationship and life to another level on the playing field.

  1. Identify one default behavior you do when you get upset with your partner.
  2. Look at what he did and find out what that action or event means to you.  (Be honest here, you can only make progress if you’re brutally honest with yourself.)
  3. When did you first give that type of event meaning?
  4. It’s just an event, can you give it up and take responsibility for your own emotions and reactions?
  5. Now be fully aware of when you’re about to react to an event.  Go through the process and just be with it.  Don’t react.
  6. Now you’ve got control and can choose the emotion you want to use to discuss the situation with your partner.

Is it really that easy?

Yes.  And it does take practice.

Consider you and I are meaning making machines who give meaning and react with emotion any chance we get.  And it didn’t just start.  We’ve been doing it since we were children.  And we’ve carried that along with us every step of the way.  In the next article I’ll talk about how these meanings are the story of our lives and made us who we are.  I’ll show you how you can truly transform your relationships into something you’ve always wanted.

So stay tuned for the next post.  In the mean time, drop us an email or leave a comment.  Let us know how things are going for you.

Love… to infinity and beyond,

Jay

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Making Any Relationship Work

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Recently, I was asked what the key is to making a relationship work. Those of you who read my articles know that I am a huge fan of communication. I love to engage in meaningful conversation, with friends, family and, of course, my lover. Conversation brings meaning to everything, without it, we have no method of relating or conveying thoughts, ideas or feelings.

I even enjoy conversation about things I don’t like. My friends and I discuss political views and I listen and engage. I have dialog with others regarding differences of religious views and beliefs. I will open a talk about food, working out, music, movies, social programs, gas prices anything, as long as it is meaningful and everyone gets something from the interaction. I don’t like all these subjects, but I love the conversation. I find it mentally stimulating and valuable information in order to truly know others.

It has been said that we should never talk about politics or religion. I would suggest, that a person not able to remove themselves from the emotions attached should not have those conversations. Some of the best interactions I have are with people of differing view points. Why would we only want to engage with like minded people? If everyone is thinking the same thing, 50% of the people are not thinking. So talking with those who don’t agree with our opinion is just that, talking. Listen, engage and have fun.

But, what is really the key to a good relationship? If conversation was all there was, we would be in perfect relational status. With 24 hours news, cable TV and the internet, we talk or get talked to, all the time. So, conversation is only a means of developing and maintaining our relationships, not necessarily the key to success. Not only did I want to provide an answer to my reader, I wanted the answer for myself. What is the key?

Reaching Out Through Technology

In today’s world of distance and technology, it’s been stated that relationships have changed. I would argue, that we have changed as people and how we interact with one another. We have a litany of medias barraging us from the moment we wake up to the minute we go back to sleep. Television, radio, email, internet, social media, cell phones, texting, we have a constant flow of information blasting our senses every waking moment. I myself will have the TV on while I check my emails. I can do both and I like it. But it has changed us not as people, but in the way we interact.

With information flowing into us from everywhere at all times, it is natural for us to filter what we hear and how we hear it. It used to be called selective hearing by married couples. We have the ability to hear what we want when we want to. And with the amount of “stuff” being thrown at us, it stands to reason that we will miss things or just refuse to hear them. It’s not our fault, it is the way of our current world.

Children have adapted faster than many adults, as they don’t see most technology as new. It was here when they arrived on the planet and they simply just use it. Us, more mature folks, have had to adapt and that may mean that we miss things from time to time. We have changed the way we interact, we have more stimuli than ever before and we have technology creating a physical gap between us.

It’s not wrong, it’s just how it is.

We live in a world where it is increasingly difficult to have solid successful relationships. So, What is the key?

Where is Your Hat?

Yeah, where is your hat? That’s right? Here is the key…

When it comes to making a relationship work, I would ask this simple question. For me the answer is easy. Take a look at you and your relationship, if you want the best out of it then get committed to it. Put your hat in the ring. If your hat is on a hook somewhere else then you are not focused here. If your hat is in another ring, then your are committed to something else. The key to making any relationship work is throwing your hat in the ring and committing to it. Communication gets all of the moving parts put in the proper places, but if you’re distracted by all the background noise we suffer with daily, are you really listening? Is your hat in the ring or tilted slightly on your head? Relationships work well and they work best when we commit to them. And although it takes a little work, the benefits are enormous!

And this works for any and all relationships. Take a child for instance, when we tune out all the noise and listen just to them, it becomes their entire world. And in return the child will listen back. They become engaged and want to interact. It is beautiful to watch.

I enjoy the exchanges I have with my friends and family. I treasure dialogue with my lover. If I were to become distracted, what benefit is there for any of us? The key to making any relationship work is taking the time to disengage from all of the garbage infecting our senses and just listen to the one we want to hear from. Put your hat in that ring!

We have an easy excuse given the massive informational input we have each day. It becomes common to say, “I forgot”, “I didn’t hear you say that”, or “What?” but if you want the relationship to really work, commit and throw your hat into the ring. Take the time to listen and hear what’s there for each of you. Not all conversation is fun and not all is worth having, but you only get to decide when you open yourself to the possibility of good dialogue.

So there is the key as I see it. Don’t miss the chance for your child to explain they are unhappy, it may prevent additional issues. Don’t miss the chance to help a friend with a problem, you may have the same one later. Don’t miss the chance to hear about a religious belief, you may discover God. And never miss the opportunity for some to tell you that they love you.

Every time it comes to your relationships, my advice is to throw you hat into the ring.

 

Love with no shame and ask with no fear

Bobby

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Saving A Relationship – 3 Ways To Make Your Relationship Work

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If you have looked online for love relationship advice you have probably come across some really bad ideas. Sometimes some even pretty good ideas actually miss the point. While it may be fine to bring your partner flowers or swoop them off for a weekend retreat, the real point of a relationship is the develop an intimate connection together, not see how many trips you can go on. The good news is that you can still begin right now working on your relationship, and the solutions frequently do not even cost a dime.

3 Pieces of Love Relationship Advice that Work

Begin with Respect – While there are many elements necessary to build and maintain a good, strong relationship, you must realize that without respect, you really do not have much of a relationship to save. Sometimes, when you spend so much time with a person, you forget to afford each other the simple respect that you would give to any stranger.

How do you fix this? Simply put, behave differently. A good way to help retrain yourself is to think of someone who you respect so much that they even intimidate you a little. Then when you are speaking with your partner do not say anything to them that you would not say to the person whom you admire. One stupid statement can be the beginning of the end, so be careful.

Offer Your Support – If you really respect each other, then you will naturally support each other. When your partner is excited about something, share in the excitement. As they share their dreams and goals with you, offer them positive support, and help them where you can.

If your partner asks you to look critically at what they are doing and offer your opinion, then feel free to do so, but only in a constructive way. So it is fine to find a flaw with their plan as long as you can justify your thoughts. So be thoughtful before you voice your opinion, and if you are not sure what you think, just support them in their efforts.

Pick your Battles – Of course there are going to be times that your partner gets on your nerves, and there are going to be things that you do that get on their nerves, but guess what? You are probably bugging them right back. You do not want to nag your partner or always be negative. Instead, learn to be tolerant.

Whether you are in a new relationship or have been in the same one for years, some things will never change. You will always need to be a little tolerant, show your support and respect your mate for a relationship to work well. So as you are looking for good love relationship advice you may want to simply listen to your own common sense instead.

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How To Overcome Communication Problems In Relationships

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If you want to even begin thinking of saving a relationship the first place you should start is on your communication with your partner. If you’re not communicating that’s not a good thing. Here are a few tips for you to try to overcome your communcation problems in relationships and start saving your relationship

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