Tag Archive for relationship advice

The Journey For Choosing The Right Man

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DriverXSmallImagine you’re setting out on a journey. You are heading to Disney World for a week of fun and entertainment. You pack your things, lock the house, and get in the car. You start up the engine and look down the road.

In that moment you realize you don’t a have map, directions to get there from where you are, or a GPS to help you. You’re obviously not going to get there in the most efficient way possible.

Most people would say that is how we travel through the life of our romances and relationships. No guide or directions, we just wing it in hopes we’ll get to the destination we want.

I would like you to consider that it’s actually worse than that. Here is the scenario that I believe is more accurate. You’ve got a map, you’ve got a GPS and you’ve got directions to get to Disney World. And here’s what they look like.

Your grandparents handed down the map. They used it in the 1970’s when Disney World first opened and passed it down to your parents and then your parents to you. It’s all yours and you think it’s accurate and up to date. Why would your parents give you something that was incorrect? Right?

Your GPS was given to you from someone who had trouble with it and thought you could use it. To you it seems normal. It doesn’t look like anything is wrong with it. It’s just used.

The directions were given to you by your father, your previous boyfriends, and other male figures who you loved and had trust in to give you the right directions. You learned a few directions from each as you went along until you had what you thought as a full set.

What I’m suggesting here is that you’re driving toward a destination relationship with old, out dated equipment, that needs updating. In fact, the map or blueprint you’ve been using to guide you through the maze of relationships more than likely isn’t even half yours. You’ve acquired them from others along the way. Much of it is made up and you probably wouldn’t even get to where you were going.

As you read this book you will begin to see new openings in how you’ve picked men in the past, how it may have been on autopilot and how you can recreate your own map for relationship success right now. What’s even more powerful is you can now pass on an accurate map, directions and GPS to those you love.

Enjoy this journey and eye opening read.

Go check out Bobby McFadden’s newest release on Amazon Kindle.  It will be an eye opening experience.  Go get it.

@$$holes To Zipper Heads – The A to Z Guide For Choosing A Man!

I promise you won’t ever forget it.

Love… to infinity and beyond.

Jay

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Vegetarians, Relationships and the Power of Choice

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I don’t know how many of our readers will truly get the point here, but I had to share it. I welcome comments and questions. I want you to have the same freedom I have discovered in my relationships. Being capable of choosing brings me a sense of comfort and ease that I have never before experienced. I hope that I haven’t missed the mark. Please let me know…

It has been said that the greatest gift we have as human beings is that of choice. I agree but what does that really mean?

Recently, I had a wonderful conversation with a close friend. I always enjoy her dialogue, she is insightful and challenges me to think. As a vegetarian, she makes a moral decision about what she will and will not eat. Further, she attempts to limit or remove any animal products from her life style. I commend her. Although I am not a vegetarian,  I often ask about new information regarding the diet.

During our latest discussion she suggested that eating anything was simply a moral decision. I was somewhat confused and asked for clarification. Her thoughts (correctly,I might add) were,  societies place morals on what is eaten and what is not. For instance, at one time cannibalism was practiced,  dog is consumed in several countries and horse meat is a staple in many different regions. Each area or society deems what they feel is a correct moral value on what is regularly eaten.

I was greatly intrigued by the thought of morality incorporated it deciding and choosing. But what I discovered surprised me.

The Morality of Being Moral

Doing the right thing is what it’s all about. But who gets to decide what’s right?

Dictionary. com defines morality as follows:

mo·ral·i·ty [muh-ral-i-tee, maw-]

noun, plural mo·ral·i·ties .

1. conformity to the rules of right conduct; moral or virtuous conduct.

So if I get this right, morality is just conforming to the rules of being proper. And those rules are changes or modified based on who sets them. Okay, I get that. How can we be moral if the code for being so changes in every social circle? What is truly right and do I use my own morality in every choice or decision I make?

My head was spinning letting me know that this was a good question…

Deciding the Truth

Searching for an answer I began to review choices I had made. I thought about eating a dog, a horse or other items deemed to be unacceptable here in the United States. I considered that I made those choices freely but based on my own morality. Yes, I used my morals to guide me to an end conclusion many times. Each new consideration was one moral decision after another. What was right verses what was wrong. Deciding the best way to go about something without getting into trouble.

Was it possible that every decision I made was morally based? If so, how could there be any possibility of free choice? Another conversation with an RLA Advisor revealed the secret I was searching for.

Decision is the act of selection based on reason. In other words deciding what should or should not be done within ones personal moral beliefs. I had not been choosing, I had been deciding. And the difference was incredible. If we base our decisions on reasons, what happens if the reasons change?

Decision Verses Choice

The impact of what happened next was profound. I realized that I had not been choosing, I had been deciding. The difference is extreme. Choosing something or someone is a powerful thing. It is done because I say so and there is no reason to it. Choosing is a gift of the greatest magnitude and mistaking it can have a horrible consequences.

The best way to describe it would be with the thought that lingered in my mind. “I choose to go to work every day” It seemed to make sense to me until I said it again, “I choose to go to work every day for my family” It still felt good to say it but the difference was, I was deciding based on a set of circumstances. I was not choosing! What scared the hell out of me was, what if I no longer enjoyed my job? Would I resent the job or would I resent my family? And there it was, basing anything on the set of reasons was not a choice it was a decision. If the morality of the decision changed, so be it, but there is no power.

Additionally, the reasons are limiting. If I loose my job, or get divorced what happens to the decision regarding my job. The mentality has to change because the reasons I implied have disappeared. I had to rethink the process and find empowerment within choice.

I do believe that the greatest gift we have as human beings is that of choice. But, I also feel that we overlook what it means to truly choose. If a reason is involved it is not a choice. Don’t be fooled by reasoning it out. Get past it and make the effort to choose and see what happens.

Consider what this will do for your relationship. I choose my girlfriend because I choose my girlfriend. There is no reason. The choice is mine and no one else’s. There is no reason or circumstances that force or guide me. I choose because I choose. If you wish you can do the same it creates a space for the choice and nothing else. What you choose will stand on it’s own and there will never be a reason governing the choice.

I honor my wife because I choose to honor my wife.

I honor my husband because I choose to honor my husband.

I love my children because I choose to love my children.

I go to work because I choose to go to work.

The power of choice is the greatest gift we have and yet understanding it can be incredibly difficult. So go out and choose, don’t decide, don’t reason, and don’t be moral. Just simply choose because it is what you want, nothing more. The freedom is unparallelled.

Love with no shame and ask with no fear

Bobby

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Can The Pec Pop of Love Save Your Relationship

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Can the “Pec Pop of Love” save your relationship through it’s subliminal message?

This message is for both women and men.  In fact this message is just as much for me as it is for you.  Watch an read and you’ll understand.

Watch this clip and we can discuss it when it’s over…

The clip you just watched is from Journey 2:  The Mysterious Island.  One of the main characters is played by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.  He goes on a journey to bond with his step son.  It’s a nice family movie that is fun to watch.  But the key scene you just watched is funny and effective in it’s subliminal message.

You see, Dwayne’s character is dispensing some advice to his step son on how to land the hot girl who is stuck on the island with him.  The boy can’t stand it.

The truth is… there may be some truth to the “Pec Pop of Love” if you take it to another level of understanding.

First, it’s not so much the Pec Pop that’s going to do the trick but the physique, exercise, and commitment it takes to get in shape.

You’re probably wondering how all this comes together but let’s look at some of the benefits of being physically fit and exercising on a regular basis.

  • Exercise is known to reduce depression for both men and women.
  • Physically fit people tend to have a higher stamina in the bedroom.
  • Physically fit people tend to have higher confidence in themselves.
  • That confidence they now have comes across in everything they do and are sexy to the opposite sex.
  • exercise and depression

Those are some great side benefits if you ask me.  Confidence, feeling sexy, higher performance in the bedroom… you can’t ask for more than that for the side benefits of anything.  I don’t know one pill, even the “blue pill” that can do all that.

I’m going to add to the list above for what exercise can do for your relationship…

  • Working out together gives each of you more attention on each other.
  • Working out together allows you to have planned showers together.
  • Working out together gives you a reason to add post workout massages to your agenda.
  • Discover what makes each other relax after a hard workout.
  • Plan to have sex after your workout and while you’re already sweaty.
  • Increase the number of conversations you have on a weekly basis because you’re working out together.
  • Talk more often about important topics while you’re de-stressing at the same time.

As you can see, adding exercise routines together can not only improve your physique, stamina, and confidence, it can bring you and your partner closer together in ways you may have never seen before.  This exercise plan you start doing may open up new conversations.  You may grow confident in each other sexually and start exploring new things.  You may begin to see the benefits of conversation, exercise, and the overall benefits of being TOGETHER.

Now can you see how my thoughts of how the Pec Pop of Love can save your relationship?

I would love to hear your Pec Pop story.  Send us some of your hot, sweaty, workout stories.  I want all the gory details.  Has exercise improve your relationship?  Let us know.

Now, obviously you can see there was a physical aspect to this post and a conversational aspect.  If you’re at all interested in improving your relationship, go grab our new book that is out on Amazon Kindle.

Get it here:  Mancode Secrets Revealed:  Relationship Advice For Women

Love… to infinity and beyond.

Jay

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Our Deepest Thanks

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Although I usually publish on Tuesdays every week, I wanted to take the time to thank our readers and supporters and share the good news. As you know, our first book was released on Amazon.com almost two weeks ago. RLA has worked provide quality offerings in both print and video. We were very happy with the first book, but as with anything we were also anxious to hear from our readers.

Yesterday morning our book, Mancode Secrets Revealed – Relationship Advice For Women, was listed as #7 on the Amazon.com best sellers list for relationship advice. By the end of the business day the book had advanced to the #2 spot on the same list. We are incredibly humbled and wish to extend our deepest gratitude to each and every one of our supporters.

In the up coming weeks we will release our second book. And with the currently generated excitement we hope you will find it equally enlightening.

Our mission statement is:

To make an impact with people around the world. And we do this by providing them the tools they need to have the relationships of their dreams.

I ask that you continue to dream, and dream big!

As always,

Love with no shame and ask with no fear

Bobby

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Relationship Breakthrough Challenge-Part 4

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Male and female sign entangled XSmallThis is the final post in the Relationship Breakthrough Challenge.  We are about to uncover the truth and uncover your choice of destiny.  However if you would like to read the previous three posts you can by clicking the link below…

Relationship Breakthrough Challenge – Part 1

Relationship Breakthrough Challenge – Part 2

Relationship Breakthrough Challenge – Part 3

Now let’s dig in.

Before you go to work on your man, try to fix him, or try to fix your relationship you need to find out what TRUTH is.

What do you think truth is?

Most people think truth is something verifiable.  Some people think their beliefs are “the truth”.  Others think feelings are truth.

None of those are “the truth”.  In fact, the truth is made up by what ever you say.

What?  I can see your eyeballs bulging trying to figure out if I’m insane.

Consider that what you think is truth is just a series of beliefs, meanings, and things that were completely made up.

I’ll use an extreme example.  It was the truth many years ago that women stayed home and didn’t work.  That was a belief that was held for a long time.  It was held as TRUTH.

Until it changed.

Everything in our world is built on what we believe to be true and not true.  Until it’s proven otherwise.

So I challenge your beliefs of what you think are true.  But I’ll get into that more in just a minute.

Why do you react the way you do?

Who’s driving your bus?  Who makes decisions for you.  It’s certainly not the you that you think.  It’s actually all the past experiences you’ve used to create your model of the world.  Your decisions and your experiences all shape who you are today.  You react to things because something happened in the past that gave you some “truth” about how to act.

I’ve used examples like this before… if you were dating someone and they cheated you form an opinion about that situation. Your brain starts to “see” patterns that might give you an indication that your man is cheating.  You do it without knowing you do it.  And here’s the kicker, it’s happened so many times you believe what you’re interpreting as the truth.  You see him talking to another woman and you immediately believe he is cheating.

That is your past experience being used to create a belief that you have as true.

As you can see, it’s the past that’s causing you to react the way you do.

In order to get to the TRUTH you first have to be ok that how you react may not be TRUE.  Some people find it hard to give up being right long enough that their model of the world may not be the TRUTH.  It’s like when people said the earth was flat.  It’s hard to give it up until you challenge it.

I’m asking you to challenge it.  Because when you do, you’ll find that you begin to gain power over being at the affect of life and truly gain a level of choice in your life.

What is choice, really?

One of the definitions of “Choice” by Merriam-Webster is the act of choosing and having a variety to choose from.

Consider that you’ve been living your life without choice.  Because you’ve been reacting to things that happen given by your past and what you think is true, you haven’t been choosing anything.

It’s just been an illusion.  In fact it’s your past that has been driving everything you do and you’ve never truly chosen anything.

So how do you choose?  When an event happens you have to stop, before you react, and ask yourself why am I about to react this way.  Think back to the earliest time you can remember that may have caused you to be that way.  That past experience is what is causing you to react at a subconscious level.  If you accept that and acknowledge that it no longer has to be that way, new openings for action arise.

You gain choice.

You see, it’s the choices and decisions you make that guide you down paths in life.  It’s the meaning you give the results that shapes how you see the world.  It’s how you see the world that gives you your actions.

Choice ultimately shapes your life.

How does choice shape your life?

Your actions are always congruent with how you see the world.

For instance, if you think your man is cheating (that’s how you see things) then you will act in accordance with that.  All your actions will be given by your suspicion that he is cheating.  And if that’s the case then you are shaping your life in that way.

If you can separate yourself from the meaning you’ve automatically given things and reassign a meaning you would be better suited to live with it’s possible to shape your life into anything that you want.  And that zooms into your relationship as well.

If you are having relationship troubles then look to YOU first and ask yourself some questions…

Why do I react that way?

What meaning did I give that?

What do I make it mean about me?

What can I change the meaning into that would allow me to have new openings for action?

You’ll notice that everything begins to shift in your life and your relationship.  Try it on.  See how it works and let me know what your results are.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this short series and I’m sure if you’ve applied some of these strategies you will have already had a breakthrough in your relationship.

Love… to infinity and beyond.

Jay

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