Tag Archive for relationship advice

A Successful Marriage Requires

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SuccessfulMarriage

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you ever wonder how to do this just leave a message in the comments below.

Love… To infinity and beyond.

Jay

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Blow Through Your Persistent Problems

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TheMeaningMakingMachine_1Have you ever noticed the problems in your relationship.  I bet you could list them off the top of your head.  You know the problems that persist no matter what you do or say.  No matter what you do these problems seem to show up.  And what’s worse is they show up at the worst times. 

Have you ever wondered why these problems continue to persist?

The reason they persist no matter what you do or try is because no matter what you’re doing or trying your context is the same.  What do I mean by context…

Context – the interrelated conditions in which something exists or occurs.

Source:  Merriam-Webster

The conditions that these problems persist inside of are your own assumptions, hopes, cynicisms, resignations, and experiences.  Or you could say that your context is derived from the person you are today based on your past.  And unless these things change you’re probably going to get more of what you already have.

How can you change your past?

You can’t change the actual events of your past.  But you can change the meaning you have given those events.  When you start to look at your past you might find that you’ve given certain meanings to it.  Maybe your relationship with money is the way it is because you didn’t have nay growing up.  Maybe you think money is the root of all evil because that is what your parents taught to you. 

You must first be open to the idea that you can change your context at will.  Look at the situation from different angles.  Analyze your feelings and find out where you’ve created meaning from past events.  Look to see if you could see a different meaning for that event.  When you can do that you’ll begin to shift your context.  You’ll begin to shift the way you look at the persistent problems.  You may even find that those problems stop being problems and become an opportunity to get closer to your partner.

If you really want an opportunity to blow away your persistent problems then I urge you to grab a copy of Bobby’s new book called “The Meaning Making Machine”.  It’s on Amazon right now and it will demonstrate very quickly why you are the way you are and how your human computer has controlled you since you were born.  But you have  a choice and you’ll see why and what you can do about it.  Go check it out.

Love… to infinity and beyond.

Jay

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A Few Ideas to Ponder…

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644720_291103937657750_584840658_nI have discovered a new page on Facebook and wanted to share it with all of you. I like anything that causes me to think or re-think about my relationships. This page is called Liberation Through Tempted Desires and it has caused some interesting conversation within my home. It is fairly new and run by five open minded people, if I get my count correct. These folks are not afraid to discuss sex, love and relationships nor the dirty details therein. the contents are suggested fro adults only and I agree, but that’s who we are, enjoy if you dare. All of the photos in my blog today are from the site. Take a look at a few and share the ideas with your loved ones and see where it goes…

But I warn you, if your not ready to be open mined and discuss your relationship, just stop reading now and go back to what you were doing…

 

Here is one that just jumped out to me and my girlfriend. Most of us have some issue in our lives or relationship that keeps reoccurring. No matter what we do to 66225_293365187431625_1479554750_ncorrect or modify the problem it keeps coming back over and again. Why is that? The reason for it is that we keep focusing on it. Be cause we desperately what it to go away and yet we keep looking for it to come back. We become hyper sensitive to the issue and not to the person we love. Accept the person for who they are and then read this again…

544698_292494140852063_667071720_nAgain, this one should generate a significant amount of dialogue between lovers. Choosing anything or anyone and choosing powerfully has wonderful implications. Do you remember this feeling inside you when you first met? Is it still there? Why or why not? Consider talking about it and getting back to choosing to consume each other. Talk about the heat of sex, the dirty feeling fro each other, the depth of your love. What ever it takes to get you to the point of consumption!

Last, I leave you with this photo…46266_291797267588417_2007845281_n It is so true that the world is not going to stop because we want to carry a chip on our shoulder. The world moves on with or without us. We can’t choose to stop it, we can only choose to make it as great as possible for us and those around us. What do you choose? Love is a great place to start, from there a lot of really cool things can happen. Choosing to love and choosing it powerfully means that you have taken control of life and are going to enjoy the ride. Get involved and control you destiny. Take control and quit bitching. Check out this Facebook page and start a conversation. Get filthy dirty with the ones you love.

Let me know how things go and what shows up in the following conversations.

I can’t wait to hear from you.

 

Until next time…

Love with no shame and ask with no fear

Bobby

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Does the Matrix have you?

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Mind VirusHave you seen the movie called the Matrix?

It’s a good movie that makes you think about reality.  It forces you to think deeper about what’s possible, what’s not possible and who says so.  Which is an interesting series of thoughts when you consider it.  Let me give you a dialogue from the movie and then I’d like to discuss it…

Morpheus: I imagine that right now, you’re feeling a bit like Alice. Hmm? Tumbling down the rabbit hole?
Neo: You could say that.
Morpheus: I see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, that’s not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate, Neo?
Neo: No.
Morpheus: Why not?
Neo: Because I don’t like the idea that I’m not in control of my life.
Morpheus: I know *exactly* what you mean. Let me tell you why you’re here. You’re here because you know something. What you know you can’t explain, but you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life, that there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I’m talking about?
Neo: The Matrix.
Morpheus: Do you want to know what it is?
Neo: Yes.
Morpheus: The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work… when you go to church… when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Morpheus: That you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else you were born into bondage. Into a prison that you cannot taste or see or touch. A prison for your mind.

I’d like you to consider that when Morpheus explains that Neo is a slave like everyone else and that he was born into a prison he can’t taste or touch that he is talking about you, me, and every human on the plant.  You see, we are enslaved by our own mind.  Your mind limits you.  It tells you to be scared of certain things.  It tells you to hold your tongue because you might look bad.  It tells you to look the other way because you don’t want to be the “bad guy”.  It also sabotages your relationship. 

Your mind is very powerful and until now you’ve probably been in your own prison.  There is an answer.  It is in the new book by Bobby McFadden called the “Meaning Making Machine”.  In this book you will unlock the tools you need to break free from your prison.  You will be handed the antidote for the mind virus you’ve obtained over time.

Go grab your copy and let me know what you think.

Here’s the link:

The Meaning Making Machine

 

Love… to infinity and beyond.

Jay

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Yielding Your Relationship

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Listen.Do you always think you have the right of way? 

Do you have rules for your right of way? 

Here is an excerpt from Seth Godin’s blog.  Seth is a highly respected Marketer and Author.  His blog is highly insightful for many in business.  And when I came across this post I thought about how perfect it was for relationships too.  Check it out…

The rules of right of way make sense.

A maneuverable motor boat yields to a sailboat because it can more easily recover from the turn.

A bicyclist going downhill yields to one struggling uphill, because he can get back up to speed more quickly.

The senior partner invests a little bit of time helping the junior one, because no one else has the skills to do so, not because reciprocation is the goal.

Asymmetrical trades are what makes a society work.

Yield has two meanings, and one leads to the other.

Source:  Seth Godin

Now I’m going to ask you to take on having a breakthrough in your relationship by yielding.  Yield.  Listen.  Don’t judge.  Avoid worrying about how you’re going to respond. Instead listen to your partner.  Listen for what is important to him about the discussion. 

After you’ve done this I want you to come back to the blog and tell me how it’s working for you.  Tell me what worked and what didn’t.  Let’s go to work on your relationship.  Even the biggest problems can be solved with authentic, unencumbered conversations.

Love… to infinity and beyond.

 

Jay

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