Tag Archive for mental health

Don’t Like Me? Fuck Off.

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I was scrolling through my Facebook page when I came across this sign and thought about the simplicity of the message. It came from another Facebook page, here it is for you to check it out. Big Fake Titties, Guns & manly shit that’s gonna piss your girlfriend off.

We constantly write about the nature of relationships and what can be done to repair or correct them. We question who we are being and what actions have caused issues within our relationships. We press the subject of changing us and forget about the actions of others. But there is also a part of yielding that we seldom examine.

Two Sides of the Same Coin

I am a huge advocate for the advancement of free thinking. I suggest that each of us needs to occasionally step back and look at where we are in the journey of life. An objective view can bring interesting perspective to any subject or relationship. More importantly, it provides us an opportunity to look at an item without placing meaning on it.

Take a look at Christine and Derrick, they have two small children ages 4 and 7. The 7 year old boy constantly uses foul language and when unhappy will cuss at the parents. His teachers have asked Christine and Derrick to control their child because the same behavior is reported in the classroom. When Christine and Derrick address the problem, they simply talk to the boy and attempt to explain why his language is unacceptable. There is no punishment, just a conversation. Christine and Derrick fear that the child will not love them if he is punished in any manner and they choose to try to converse rather than manage him any other way. In addition, they have a rising fear that the younger child is beginning to behave in the same manner.

The meaning Christine and Derrick have placed on punishment is the the children will no longer love them. They have such a fear of loosing the children’s love that they are willing to run the risk of allowing their behavior to continue and grow. Whether they are correct or not, both Christine and Derrick have placed meaning on punishment and it has paralyzed them from action. I can assure you that my parents had no such fear and they doled out punishment often.

I encourage Christine and Derrick to step back and look at the bigger picture. Is it possible that they are allowing and encouraging the children to behave is such a way? Is it possible that the children see their acquiescence as a sign to continue? Is it possible that the meaning they place on punishment is really nothing at all?

This is just one example of how we yield in relationships to avoid problems.

The Other Side of the Coin

I challenge you to use your own judgment in any relationship to examine the real issues. Throwing up your hands and saying, “That’s just the way it is!” is not always the best solution. For instance, Christine and Derrick have other options but they choose not to employ them.

In our adult relationships the same is true. We have options to engage, get angry, converse, be silent, there is any number of methods but when is it enough? That’s the real question…

In the case of my childhood, if I had chosen to cuss at my parents, my father would have seen to it that this particular mistake was a one time occurrence. He was strict and we all knew what the acceptable parameters were of behavior. He was not worried about our loving image of him. I thank him for raising me to be who I am. Enough to him was somewhat smaller than to others.

As adults we sometimes see our options to be limited and we restrict ourselves from acting. Christine and Derrick seem very restricted. But what if you are in a hurtful and harmful relationship? When do you have enough? You must make that choice for yourself.

I suggest the same process, step back, take an objective look and take action. My personal view is that if the relationship is mentally or physically abusive, exiting has fewer consequences than remaining. And I mean this for any relationship, spousal, personal, working environment, a harmful relationship is just that and nothing more.

If you’ve done all you can do to get the relationship to a positive place, than what’s left?

Don’t Just Flip the Coin

I enjoy using the relationship strategies we teach here at RLA Advisors. I like knowing there are options to motivate and improve my relationships. But I also have to admit that not all people will be positively impacted every time.

I ask that you continue to utilize our techniques and attempt to improve your relationships.

But when all else fails and you don’t like me, fuck off. Problem solved.

As always,

Love with no shame and ask with no fear

Bobby

Once again I want to direct you to Jay Simcic’s latest book. Here’s the link to find it on Amazon.com: Mancode Secrets Revealed. I highly recommend it for all of our readers. It covers a ton of aspects that you could benefit from in your relationships. The reviews have been great and I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

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Not the Language of Love…

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Warning: If you are offended by language, profanity or open discussion about sex, love and/or relationships, read no farther. This article is possibly not for you. If you have ever tried to ban something, or participated in such a ban, stop reading now! This post is not for anyone who is intellectually bankrupt or has no capacity or will to advance a conversation either in public or private. Again, if you are easily offended, STOP READING NOW!!!!!!!!

 

Not the Language of Love…

With that said, let’s get to the heart of the matter. My post today was originally planned to open a conversation around sexual relationships and how we need not be frightened to use the language we have so graciously been provided. Instead, I must address not only this but, the growing ignorance regarding the restraint and now censorship of language itself.

 

I would like to thank Jay Simcic for his post from yesterday. I will not cover the post, you may via the provided link, and I suggest you do so. His point is timely and well taken.

Source: Fifty Shades Of Grey Banned

We have evolved to a societal apex of enlightened stupidity. Who the hell is in charge of anything in Brevard County, Florida? Way to go dumbasses! You attempted to ban 2 Live Crew. You got a federal judge to rule in favor of the lyrics being obscene. The album and the band were launched into stardom by your intolerance and ignorance. Then, to add insult to injury, the ruling was overturned by a federal appeals court. Free publicity for the band, tax dollars spent for no reason and all you got, to quote Bill Engvall, “Here’s you sign”.

I hope you didn’t rid yourselves of the first sign, because with the removal of the book “50 Shades of Grey” from your libraries, you may just need it. I don’t think there will be litigation, but look at the publicity your stupidity is providing both your county and the book. The book isn’t the issue as much as possibly the education system. Who teaches hate, intolerance, and ignorance on this scale? This must be the Ivy League of stupidity.

Where are we today when we engage one another? Do we intentionally hide behind some false moral code in order to hide our feelings and thoughts? In my opinion, yes.

If you don’t like a band, don’t buy or listen to their music. If you don’t like a book, don’t read it. If you don’t like a movie (The Last Temptation of Christ), don’t drive from your home, don’t withdraw the amount of money required for a ticket from your wallet, don’t buy the ticket and don’t watch the movie.

Radio stations, talk show hosts, television programs, music, movies, art, books, they are all either a form of expression or a medium of such. Banning any part or person destroys the public forum of communicating with each other.

I get that not everything is appropriate for all ages. I get that not everything is appropriate for all places. But to stifle the conversation without regard for anyone but a few mental midgets is counter productive on a universal scale.

Now, for the REAL Conversation

My point for today is the open discussion of sex and sexuality. I want to put the forum in perspective before I write another post so that WE (YOU, ME, US) can have a discussion. Nothing more than people sharing in an open conversation without fear, suppression or concern. That’s where I am today and I want you to join me.

Interested? I hope so. Everything we have, everything we do and everything we share is done through language. You are reading this now because of language. You speak to another because of language. We tell others that we love them because of language. We communicate everything, anything and nothing because of language. And above all, I refuse to allow it to be suppressed or killed off. Join me, PLEASE!

I will not promise to be acceptable. I will not promise to be politically correct. I will not promise to keep it safe for work. But I will promise to communicate and provide open dialog regarding sex, relationships and love as I know it.

Join me or screw off, I don’t care. But, if you’ve read this far, what are you thinking?

We are about to embark on a very interesting journey, a clearing house of conversation and ideas, sharing interests and desires. If you don’t have the stomach for it, so be it. But don’t be surprised when the secrets you keep become the poison that kills your relationship.

What is Taboo?

Sex is not taboo. Learning about sex in a healthy manner is not taboo. We used to teach it in school. Having sex is not taboo, but suppressing discussion based on fear and ignorance certainly should be.

In my up coming book all of this is discussed in detail and we reveal why we share and don’t share information about sex with each other or our children. The reasons are clear and well defined, yet we are afraid of what we don’t know. So let’s dig in and get with it and above all, have fun within the discussion.

Next week I will get back to the point I wanted to cover today. It is dirty, profane and possibly vulgar, but we are talking about sex. Let’s get dirty with it.

So be Forewarned: If Words Scare YOU, Avoid My Posts in the Future.

I will be challenging each of you to get involved in the conversation. Get your families involved, get your friends involved, get your lovers involved, but get involved.

Does the word vagina make you uncomfortable or excited? Does the word penis make you cringe with fear or bring you to erotic thought? There is your homework assignment for next week. If you can’t handle these words, you better hang on to your ass next week.

Until then, please leave me a comment. Love it, hate it, but talk about it. Invite me into your would and I will share mine, but don’t back off now we are only getting started.

Love with no shame and ask with no fear.

Bobby

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