Tag Archive for making relationships work

Relationship Advice For Women Five Tips For Avoiding Heartache

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Relationship advice is everywhere.  There is definitely no shortage of it in sight. Where there seems to be a lack of advice is around how to avoid bad relationship from the beginning.  The first thing you need to do is identify a few things for yourself.  Here is the short list.

Know Your Type

What type of man do you want to attract.  Most women spend their time getting ready, primping themselves up, and working on the right now.  What they should be doing is identifying what type of man they want. I’m certainly not talking about the fantasy type things (tall, dark, and handsome).  What I’m talking about are attitude, does he want kids, are you looking for someone who is mature.  What traits are important to you.  Think about them and write them down.

The one thing to watch out for are contradictions in what you are looking for in you man.  For instance, if you want someone who is strong and silent you should get upset if the one you found doesn’t share his feelings very often.  Take a close look at the traits you want in a man and make sure they don’t conflict.

Establish Your Limits

Limits or boundaries are typically known to most people as “deal breakers”.  These will be your guidelines for knowing that a man is not right for you.  As an example, if he were ever to physically abuse you, have a criminal background, or have any sort of addiction, that might be a sign for you to hit the road and don’t look back.  These will be your hard limits that you will not cross.  I’ts important to have them.

The one thing you must do is uncover what your boundaries are before you get involved with someone.  Once you’re involved you may find it hard to implement your limit because other emotions are too high.  The easiest way to do it is to set those limits early.

One thing you can do to improve your success around deal breakers is to let a friend know.  And to ask her to hold you accountable to those deal breakers.  Sometimes you might get blinded by love and not see as clearly as you should.  Having a friend to remind you and point things out could help in the long run.  Ultimately you have to make the decision.

Learn The Signs Of Your Ant-Man

Keep track of how men treat you.  Watch to see what behavior is exhibited when he does certain things.  Watch for patterns.  These will be your early detection system if something is wrong.  You should be interested in the signs of an alcholic, someone who abuses women, someone who cheats, and those bad boy traits.  You want to know what you’re getting into and see the signs early so you can get out if you have to.

It’s not rocket science.  And you don’t have to stay and help every man.  What you can do is help him get help if he needs it.  That way you don’t abandon him.  There are ways to handle everything.  You just need to find the best way.

Listen To Your Gut

I’m sure you’ve heard it before.  If something is nagging you about a situation or a certain man, maybe you should listen to the nag.  It’s usually your brain trying to give you a clue about something.  If nothing else talk to a guy friend or a girl friend about what’s giving you the sensation.  You might be able to talk about exactly what is nagging you and then work on it or address it.  What ever you do, don’t ignore it.

Watch Out For Love At First Sight

Yes, its possible to meet someone and just know.  But don’t accept it for face value.  You still need to learn who this person is.  You still need to find out if you’re a match long term.  You still need to learn each other’s quirks.

Whatever you do, take your time.  Love is something that is cultivated and made better with time.  The key is having conversations, watching out for what’s right for you.  And knowing that you have your best interest at heart.

Take the time to get clear on the things I’ve mentioned above.  You’ll find that you get better results with the men you choose and you’ll be more prepared to handle situations that come up.

Love… to infinity and beyond.

Jay

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Relationship Questions You Need To Ask

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If you want to save your relationship then you’ve got to start by asking the right questions. Here are a few to get you started. Ask these and you’ll at least put yourself in alignment with each other.

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Saving A Relationship – Understanding The Wife Husband Relationship

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Before you can fix anything you have to know where you are. Before you know what’s going on you have to know what parts are involved. Here are few tips to help the husband and wife connection and in the end help build a strong lasting relationship.

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Save This Marriage – Stop the divorce!

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attractive couple portraits XSmallThat is what every cell in your body is screaming.

Unfortunately you are not the one who filed for the divorce, so it may not even be possible. But you can stop the divorce any time before it becomes final, and since it’s still not final there may still be time to save this marriage.

Of course stopping a divorce is not an easy task. Obviously something got your mate to file for divorce in the first place. So probably begging and whining are not going to be your most effective tactics at this stage of the game.

Start Talking

A simple conversation is probably the best place to start the process. Find out if your, soon to be ex, is amenable to having a conversation about the impending divorce, and then you can go from there.

The more delicate you are in broaching the subject of reconciliation the better it will likely be received. So leave your demands and your hurt feelings at home, because for there to be any chance of this working, you must remain calm and even tempered throughout the conversations.

Begin by asking why your spouse wants a divorce, and then listen to the answer. This may be part of the problem right here, and you may be surprised to learn something new just because you are actually listening for the first time.

Listen and Understand

Then if you understand the reason and think that it is something that the two of you can reconcile, let your mate know that you want to stay married, and that you are very sad at the prospect of a future that does not include them.

If your spouse is interested in trying to reconcile, you may want to suggest that you visit a marriage counselor to help find a constructive way for the two of you to sort out your problems. Millions of couples have benefited from counseling, and it may be just the ticket for the two of you also.

Be open to suggestions where you can improve yourself and your relationship, and assume that your spouse will want to do the same. If during the course of counseling you discover that your spouse doesn’t want to do any work to improve your situation, then you may reassess how you feel and let the divorce continue.

Remember that for this reconciliation to work, you both have to want it.

Be Smart with your Second Chance

Now you’ll have the chance to let your spouse see why they fell head over heels in love at the beginning of your relationship. Just seeing you work so hard on your relationship might be enough to let your spouse really appreciate how much your marriage means to you. It might be all that they need to call off the divorce.

If you are fortunate enough to have your divorce shelved, remember that you got there once, and do your best not to push your relationship to this point ever again. If continuing counseling for one or both of you helps save this marriage, then this may be your ticket to a long and happy future together.

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