Blow Through Your Persistent Problems

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TheMeaningMakingMachine_1Have you ever noticed the problems in your relationship.  I bet you could list them off the top of your head.  You know the problems that persist no matter what you do or say.  No matter what you do these problems seem to show up.  And what’s worse is they show up at the worst times. 

Have you ever wondered why these problems continue to persist?

The reason they persist no matter what you do or try is because no matter what you’re doing or trying your context is the same.  What do I mean by context…

Context – the interrelated conditions in which something exists or occurs.

Source:  Merriam-Webster

The conditions that these problems persist inside of are your own assumptions, hopes, cynicisms, resignations, and experiences.  Or you could say that your context is derived from the person you are today based on your past.  And unless these things change you’re probably going to get more of what you already have.

How can you change your past?

You can’t change the actual events of your past.  But you can change the meaning you have given those events.  When you start to look at your past you might find that you’ve given certain meanings to it.  Maybe your relationship with money is the way it is because you didn’t have nay growing up.  Maybe you think money is the root of all evil because that is what your parents taught to you. 

You must first be open to the idea that you can change your context at will.  Look at the situation from different angles.  Analyze your feelings and find out where you’ve created meaning from past events.  Look to see if you could see a different meaning for that event.  When you can do that you’ll begin to shift your context.  You’ll begin to shift the way you look at the persistent problems.  You may even find that those problems stop being problems and become an opportunity to get closer to your partner.

If you really want an opportunity to blow away your persistent problems then I urge you to grab a copy of Bobby’s new book called “The Meaning Making Machine”.  It’s on Amazon right now and it will demonstrate very quickly why you are the way you are and how your human computer has controlled you since you were born.  But you have  a choice and you’ll see why and what you can do about it.  Go check it out.

Love… to infinity and beyond.

Jay

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Flight Attendant Relationship Management

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I recently took a vacation to Cancun, Mexico with my girl friend. We flew on a major airline direct from Charlotte, North Carolina to Cancun and I have to admit that there were more idiot fliers than I have ever seen at one time. People were refusing to check in prior to the flight. Some were not willing to wait in the appropriate lines. Many attempted to board the aircraft out of turn. Folks were having issues finding their seats. And the parade of lunacy just continued.

Once seated however, I was witness to the most amazing woman. A flight attendant named Beth who was in charge without offending anyone. It was incredible. Through all of the bitching, moaning and whining about luggage, seat assignments and whether we were going to have a meal or headsets, she kept her head about her. This woman was able to field questions, place people in seats and placate the ignorant without taking a breath. She was the Wonder Woman of the air lines.

As I watched she handled each complaint as if she was teaching school to third graders. Never getting upset or demeaning those in violation, Beth moved throughout the cabin with grace. She yelled without raising her voice. She demanded without ordering. She suggested as if it was the idea of the passenger. At one point an angry flier told Beth that he wanted to change his seat assignment (on a sold out flight) and she needed to make it happen. Her response was a brilliant as it was simple. She said, “This plane isn’t going anywhere until we are all seated. Let’s see if we can work it out because we are all in this together” He was so stunned by her lack of confrontation that he settled down and did exactly what she suggested. It was great to watch her command the passengers.

Once we were in flight, I took the opportunity to compliment her on the skill. I suggested that I might have put someone in a head-lock if I were confronted with the same. And her response again stunned me. “Well, I truly love my job and what I do” It was that simple. She was going to enjoy what she did, with or without the benefit of the passengers. Talk about taking responsibility for yourself!

I love finding people like this. they give me a reason to look at my own life and I love my life. Bu this woman had it all together and I was in awe. So Beth if your reading this, great job and keep doing what you’re doing. And to the rest of us, let’s try to find that one perfect place where we too can say, “I love what I do”…

Love with no shame and ask with no fear

Bobby

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The Love Chemical Is Back In The News

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It’s no surprise.  Scientist have isolated a hormone that improves monogamy.  Yes it is Oxytocyn.  That very hormone we talk about in Mancode Secrets Revealed.

You’re probably wondering what is so special about this magic chemical in your body that we had to mention it again.

Check this out…

So what is this magic hormone? Oxytocin would be the hormone that can put the magic back in your relationship. Granted, no magic pill or hormone can overcome a bad attitude in a relationship, but this hormone has some extra special qualities.

In the study, when they placed healthy men near attractive women, the distance both monogamous and single men in relationships kept from the woman were about the same. They did not keep much of a distance. But when oxytocin was administered nasally the monogamous men kept a significant distance from the beautiful female compared to the single men. It did not seem to have any effect on the single men.

So what does this mean? It means by finding out how to get your body or that of your spouse to produce more of this hormone, it will be easier to stay monogamous.

Source: Examiner.com

The best part about this chemical is you can cause your body to produce more of it.  All you have to do are all the things you’re familiar with in your relationship. 

You can hold hands, kiss, or have sex.  You can eat your favorite food, smell something you like, or even do something fun with your partner.  It’s that simple.  And the benefits are more than just monogamy.  You may find yourself relaxing.  Your blood pressure could go down.  Your stress level could drop significantly.  You might even find you heal faster.

I guess that’s why doing things you love with your partner make you feel so darn good.

Next time you’re in a funk, do a little of the nasty.  Hold some hands, roll on the floor, or kiss.  It’ll be fun and stress free.

Love… to infinity and beyond.

Jay

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A Few Ideas to Ponder…

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644720_291103937657750_584840658_nI have discovered a new page on Facebook and wanted to share it with all of you. I like anything that causes me to think or re-think about my relationships. This page is called Liberation Through Tempted Desires and it has caused some interesting conversation within my home. It is fairly new and run by five open minded people, if I get my count correct. These folks are not afraid to discuss sex, love and relationships nor the dirty details therein. the contents are suggested fro adults only and I agree, but that’s who we are, enjoy if you dare. All of the photos in my blog today are from the site. Take a look at a few and share the ideas with your loved ones and see where it goes…

But I warn you, if your not ready to be open mined and discuss your relationship, just stop reading now and go back to what you were doing…

 

Here is one that just jumped out to me and my girlfriend. Most of us have some issue in our lives or relationship that keeps reoccurring. No matter what we do to 66225_293365187431625_1479554750_ncorrect or modify the problem it keeps coming back over and again. Why is that? The reason for it is that we keep focusing on it. Be cause we desperately what it to go away and yet we keep looking for it to come back. We become hyper sensitive to the issue and not to the person we love. Accept the person for who they are and then read this again…

544698_292494140852063_667071720_nAgain, this one should generate a significant amount of dialogue between lovers. Choosing anything or anyone and choosing powerfully has wonderful implications. Do you remember this feeling inside you when you first met? Is it still there? Why or why not? Consider talking about it and getting back to choosing to consume each other. Talk about the heat of sex, the dirty feeling fro each other, the depth of your love. What ever it takes to get you to the point of consumption!

Last, I leave you with this photo…46266_291797267588417_2007845281_n It is so true that the world is not going to stop because we want to carry a chip on our shoulder. The world moves on with or without us. We can’t choose to stop it, we can only choose to make it as great as possible for us and those around us. What do you choose? Love is a great place to start, from there a lot of really cool things can happen. Choosing to love and choosing it powerfully means that you have taken control of life and are going to enjoy the ride. Get involved and control you destiny. Take control and quit bitching. Check out this Facebook page and start a conversation. Get filthy dirty with the ones you love.

Let me know how things go and what shows up in the following conversations.

I can’t wait to hear from you.

 

Until next time…

Love with no shame and ask with no fear

Bobby

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Does the Matrix have you?

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Mind VirusHave you seen the movie called the Matrix?

It’s a good movie that makes you think about reality.  It forces you to think deeper about what’s possible, what’s not possible and who says so.  Which is an interesting series of thoughts when you consider it.  Let me give you a dialogue from the movie and then I’d like to discuss it…

Morpheus: I imagine that right now, you’re feeling a bit like Alice. Hmm? Tumbling down the rabbit hole?
Neo: You could say that.
Morpheus: I see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, that’s not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate, Neo?
Neo: No.
Morpheus: Why not?
Neo: Because I don’t like the idea that I’m not in control of my life.
Morpheus: I know *exactly* what you mean. Let me tell you why you’re here. You’re here because you know something. What you know you can’t explain, but you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life, that there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I’m talking about?
Neo: The Matrix.
Morpheus: Do you want to know what it is?
Neo: Yes.
Morpheus: The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work… when you go to church… when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Morpheus: That you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else you were born into bondage. Into a prison that you cannot taste or see or touch. A prison for your mind.

I’d like you to consider that when Morpheus explains that Neo is a slave like everyone else and that he was born into a prison he can’t taste or touch that he is talking about you, me, and every human on the plant.  You see, we are enslaved by our own mind.  Your mind limits you.  It tells you to be scared of certain things.  It tells you to hold your tongue because you might look bad.  It tells you to look the other way because you don’t want to be the “bad guy”.  It also sabotages your relationship. 

Your mind is very powerful and until now you’ve probably been in your own prison.  There is an answer.  It is in the new book by Bobby McFadden called the “Meaning Making Machine”.  In this book you will unlock the tools you need to break free from your prison.  You will be handed the antidote for the mind virus you’ve obtained over time.

Go grab your copy and let me know what you think.

Here’s the link:

The Meaning Making Machine

 

Love… to infinity and beyond.

Jay

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The Power of Voting

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Today the people of the United States will decide on a president for the next four years. They could choose to re-elect President Barack Obama, or make a change by electing Governor Mitt Romney. In either case, people fight for the chance to vote in a presidential election. Many say it is our constitutional right to vote, however there is no such mention in the US constitution. My point is that free people all over the world fight for the ability to choose their leaders.

Wars have been started in order to secure free elections and voting. During the first free elections Iraq and Afghanistan, people waiting in lines to vote were shoot and killed but the citizens continued, undaunted to file into voting precincts. The phenomenon is incredible. I commend any and all who take the opportunity to vote. More importantly, I commend and thank those who risk life and limb to defend our ability to do so.

As free people, our most precious human characteristic is our power to choose. And yet, at times, I want to scream for people to exercise that ability. I ask, if we are willing to fight to take part in a presidential election, why are we not willing to make better choices in our relationships? Better yet, why do so many people make no choice at all? Just like in an election, we have choices every day with regard to our relationships and behaviors. We choose to engage positively or negatively. We can show compassion or disregard another's feelings. In any case it all comes down to choice.

If we fight for an election why not fight for the other? Don't get me wrong, I understand the gravity of electing a US president, but I'm asking why we take little or no interest in choosing to have better and more fulfilling relationships? We have the ability but giving up the power to choose the proper path can have horrible results. And making a positive choice takes far less time than becoming educated about the candidates and then waiting in line to vote.

I can only suppose the reason we don't invest ourselves in willingly making powerful relationship choices is that we either don't care or we don't know the signs of when we need to stop, think and choose. Not knowing is a common problem. Many readers say they don't have control over certain aspects of their lives. I offer that they do, but don't see the issues plainly, without emotion. not having the proper view can prevent the necessary actions for relationship success.

In our up coming book titled The Meaning Making Machine we cover this and more. This book is another useful tool to assist you and your loved ones with finding relationship happiness. The book will be released on Kindle through Amazon.com and I highly recommend it for you and those you care about. It will provide the ground work for your relationships to find common ground in order stop, thin and choose the correct path fro positive growth. Look for it soon both here on our site and at Amazon.com. Choose a better way and find happiness while in the process. Vote for the benefit of your relationship…

Now get out and vote. Until next time…

Love with no shame and ask with no fear

Bobby

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