Our brains are amazing computers that keep us going.  It keeps us alive.  It protects us.  It gives us fight or flight.  It allows us to analyze information as we get it and make important decisions.

It also helps us read the minds of others.  It’s a useful tool because we can anticipate things in life.  We get a feeling when something is going to happen.  We react to things that we didn’t SEE.

But when it comes to emotional things like love, relationships, and sex it’s not so effective.

Our brains tend to make up things for what it doesn’t know or understand.  That’s to say that we make things up when we don’t have a clear picture.  And what’s neat is that we don’t know that we made it up.

For instance… A friend of mine had a intimate experience with a guy.  He was up front with her and said that he didn’t want a relationship.  But the rules of that game were not spelled out ahead of time.

So there was a lot of mind reading going on.  He makes her feel good and they end up being very intimate.  In the end she felt an emotional connection.  He likes her but not to have a long term relationship.  The intimate setting allowed her mind to believe that he wanted more to the relationship than he actually did.

Now she’s playing tricks on herself on whether he likes her the same.

Here’s what I have to say.  She has to take responsibility and note that she is in control of her feelings.  He did what he did and she made herself feel a certain way.

That will give her the power to make decisions about this man instead of reacting to a situation.

But that’s not all.  I suggest that the communication be much more clear about what each other wants. If he really only wants a physical relationship, he should state that clearly up front.  It should be arranged as such and if anything changes then that can be communicated.

She should ensure the communication is clear about what SHE wants and what she intends on getting.  When you communicate you’ll be able to see what is really there and work with what you really have.

Knowing this sometimes makes no difference. So…

How can you be proactive in the face of your brain that makes up what it wants?

What should happen is a two way communication that delivers the message intended and that represents what you both want out of the relationship.  It’s not fair to either of you if you hold anything back.

You see, if we don’t communicate our brains will fill in the blanks with whatever it wants.  You can’t know what another person is thinking unless you’re straight and ask them.  That’s why authentic communication is fundamental to every relationship.

It does take effort and sometimes you don’t want to say what you should say.  Our filters and mind reading capabilities go into overdrive.  We start to find evidence that supports our thoughts.  It’s crazy but true.

That’s why it’s extremely important to keep the communication lines open and honest.  Don’t hold anything back.

I would love to hear our thoughts on this subject so please leave a comment or any questions you may have below in the comments section.

Warning:

The Personalities of Conversation

As human beings it’s natural to interact and communicate with each other. We have conversations as groups both small and large. We share thoughts with acquaintances and intimate details of our lives with close friends and family.

 Our mission here at Relationship, Love & Sex Advice is to stimulate conversation and open a dialog for better and more thoughtful communication. We want everyone to jump in and share in the discussion. In some cases, this will be the only avenue for people to get an honest answer to a question, and that’s fine with us. Our staff and guest writers will never hide behind a politically correct veil. Instead, we will shoot you right between the eyes with the most candid response we can fire off.

 For me it is personal, in that, I have a love affair with the English language. I find it to be a thing of beauty and if used correctly will return positive results no matter what the discussion. As you read further, you may find this a bit odd given what I intend to cover here today. You see, language takes on different personalities depending on when and where used. Many disagree with me on this point and feel one should always be as proper as possible. I suggest otherwise.

 Consider when we attend church; our language is appropriate for the event. We wouldn’t be caught saying, “Damn nice sermon today, Father”, of course not! When going to a sporting event, we generally have looser vernacular than during our time at the office.  Golfing tends to bring out euphemisms that normally would be frowned upon in other areas of polite society. And when I served in the military, I was not politely asked to obey a command, I was told to move my ass and get it done! Different language personalities for different areas of life.

Here’s my issue

We see this within ourselves and we know that we change our lexicon to fit the place, time and environment. So why is difficult for us to discuss love, sex and relationships without feeling like our forth grade librarian just entered the room with a pocket full of detention slips? You know exactly what I mean. We tend say words like penis and vagina through a whisper so thin they could barely be heard in a sound proofed room. A different language personality for a different discussion, and be happy to engage in the conversation.

We need to proud of dialog and learn from each other, especially our lovers. Don’t whisper the words, find out what is acceptable, get comfortable using them and define boundaries. I’m not suggesting getting vulgar, but this is love and sex we are talking about. It’s messy, dirty and invigorating, accept it and get used to it. Talk about it and decide with your partner what is acceptable and what is off limits.

Is it okay for a man to text his partner, “I want to have my mouth on your pussy tonight”? I think so, but that’s me. And using the word vagina in this context is just a mood killer. Should she be comfortable texting back, “And I want some cock too”? Yes, if that’s what turns them on, but using the word penis should be criminal. They are just words and they fit perfectly in this private, intimate dialog.

The word “fuck” is used countless times in movies and books and nothing is thought of it. 50 Shades of Grey is now considered “Mommy Porn” and other than a few attempts to ban the book, it has been received with rave reviews. So why are we so afraid of the words when it comes to our personal sex lives? Answer: we are uncomfortable with the words and/or feel our partner is uncomfortable with them when we use them about us. And yet we will both read the books and watch the movies, how disappointing…

Let’s Get Filthy

So I invite each of you to share this post with your partners, discuss the feelings and thoughts surrounding the use of “dirty” words in your relationship and sexual encounters and clearly define the “Off Limits” boundaries. Getting turned on by conversation can and will come to an abrupt halt if an unwanted word is used. Be respectful of each others limits and best of all enjoy what happens as the conversation develops.

If you have never ended a session of sex out of breath, sweaty and soar, I feel sorry for you. Let’s take this opportunity to change all that. Getting filthy in the mud of love is as good as it gets. Let me know how things go and try not to injure each other.

 
As always,
Love with no shame and ask with no fear.
Bobby

Political Issue? Religious Concern? Bigotry?

Today I felt compelled to release an unscheduled post. Jay has also released a post on the same topic and asked that I provide a more political view to the issue at hand, North Carolina Amendment One.

For those of you not familiar or residing out of the North Carolina area, North Carolina Amendment One is the stare constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage within the state of North Carolina. The amendment passed as of Tuesday, May 8th 2012.

I have many questions regarding the issue and no answers. I can see it from each side, I understand the why it is important, and I get that each side has made up “facts”about the issue. It is undeniable this is an emotionally charged issue, but I ask that we take a step back and look at two facets and this unusual gem.

Is There a Solution?

First, is there a possible solution? I have no idea, but I desperately want our readers to join in the conversation. Please, let me know if there is one, has there ever been one, or can a possible solution be conceived that could satisfy both sides of the argument? I truly don’t know and with all of the vitriol surrounding the dialog, it is impossible for me to get a real grip on weather it has ever been discussed.

I keep getting the feeling that we are fighting over a word and I want input on this. Is it the word “marriage” that gets everybody’s panties in the proverbial twist? If so, is there another way? Rather than suggest that one side is wrong and the other is right, can we work together to create a solution palatable to both sides?

I ask because there always seems to be something we can all agree upon. I spent six years serving in the military in a foreign country. When I first arrived on station the “old heads” gave me an overview of the area and the local people. For quite a while I took their “information” as being the truth about the situation. Once I began to see things as they were and not as I was told, I found the people to be no different than me and my family. I have that same feeling here. Am I getting all of the information and is it correct? I don’t think so on either count.

Where is the middle ground and why are we yelling at each other about it? And another thing, why have many prominent people remained above the fray? In a recent article, I read that many leaders in the Gay & Lesbian community have remained silent during this heated battle. Why? What do they know that the rest of us don’t. It just doesn’t feel right to me and I don’t think we have all of the pieces. Please jump into the conversation and let me know.

Looking from every angle, one thing keeps coming up and I find it very funny. The military has gone through a similar evolution over the last few decades. Should we allow Gays and Lesbians to serve in the military? Then there was “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and now open service. I have a news flash for everyone. There were Gays in the military prior to any regulations regarding them. There always have been and always will be. Now consider the same here in North Carolina. I have several Gay and Lesbian friends, they aren’t going to run screaming for the state boarders just because of this new amendment. In fact, (and here is the funny part) for them, nothing changed. They couldn’t marry before and they can’t marry now. So what did we really change? I mean really?

The Political Bullshit!

Second, the pure political bullshit smells like a seven day old port-a-john at an outdoor rock festival in July. You have got to be kidding me. Our President announces his thoughts on same sex marriage the day after the amendment in North Carolina passes. REALLY! Am I the only one who smells this shit? The day after? Oh wait, it gets better. Vice President, Joe Biden, has offered an apology to the President for releasing this information early. What? It seems that President Obama was going to take a stance in favor of same sex marriages but wanted to do so closer to the election. This is like a fart in a car. You can’t even escape the smell of this one. Roll the windows down and hope for fresh air!

If President Obama has reached a decision with regard to his stance on same sex marriage, fine. Why wait to give us his insights. One reason only, political. He was hoping to gain the votes of the Gay and Lesbian community. Why do I put it this way? Easy, if he really wanted to take a stand and prove that he was for same sex marriage, he would have jumped in and supported it prior to the amendment vote. However he waited for the day after and only because his side kick spilled the beans. There is no disputing that he had his thoughts all sorted out and shared them with his staff. I find it repugnant that our leader chose not to lead. Instead he opted for political gain. I ask you to consider this when casting your next presidential ballot.

So please let me know your thoughts. As you can see, I am confused and angry so help me out. Like it or hate it, just tell me about it.

And as always

Love with no shame and ask with no fear

Bobby

Educated?

One thing is certain.  We’re in a time when people are smarter than ever and it seems like we still have issues in politics that have to do with beliefs.  Who cares if people in same sex relationships have the ability to marry or not.  

I don’t. 

I invite those folks in same sex unions to have the same rights as I do as a heterosexual married couple.  They should enjoy every right I have…. No more… No less.

In my opinion, the only people who have issues with any of this are those with religious beliefs that are against it.  These same people want to bring religion into politics. I don’t think those two belong together.  This has to do with people having rights, not what you believe in. 

Here’s an excerpt from CNN that I came across today.

Thousands of North Carolina voters hit the polls on Tuesday to cast their ballots on a referendum that would constitutionally ban same-sex marriage, even though state law already does not permit such unions.

Amendment 1 would alter the North Carolina Constitution to say that "marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this state."

Supporters argue that the amendment is needed to stop those trying to redefine marriage and to ward off possible future actions of "activist judges." It would also strengthen the state’s position against same-sex civil unions, often considered a precursor to the marriage issue.

Opponents say the measure is redundant and could result in jeopardizing domestic violence protections for women and affect couples’ health benefits.

Several municipalities in North Carolina provide benefits to same-sex couples, state officials say.

Duke University law professor Kathryn Bradley says those rights could be potentially lost if the referendum passes on Tuesday.

Concerns over the measure also home in on the potential for unintended consequences, she said, affecting issues such as child custody and the prosecution of domestic violence among unmarried couples because of the narrow definition of the new statute.

"Before domestic violence laws, we relied on criminal assault laws, which don’t always protect against things like stalking," added Bradley, who says the measure could also affect heterosexual couples.

But Sen. Dan Soucek, one of the primary sponsors of the proposed amendment, said he doesn’t "believe those are legitimate concerns."

Source:  CNN.com

Watch out homophobes, same sex marriage will be here one day!

And if the issue is with calling it “marriage” then it should be called something else but let these folks have their rights of being in a recognized union of some sort. 

I can’t imagine not giving everyone equal rights in this Country. Isn’t that what I joined the military for… to protect the freedoms and rights we have. 

Maybe I’m a little bit biased, I have a family member who is gay.  He’s been with the same dude for 20 years.  Doesn’t that count for something.  Not in some states.  They’ve been together for 20 years and neither is entitled by law the same rights I have with my wife.   They can’t be covered by the same insurance, they have legal issues if one of them gets deathly ill, and if one of them dies, forget it.   

How is that right.

Nah… I don’t think so.

Is this what’s it’s come to?  Screw everyone but your own kind.  I thought this was covered many years ago with civil rights.

Look, what you do with your life is none of my business. 

I do believe everyone should be afforded equal rights under the law regardless if you’re same sex or not.  I know that beefs up against the homophobe types, but get over yourself and look in the mirror.   

Anyway, I’m pretty amped up about it because I believe in equal rights regardless of what you call it.  I know that’s not a popular stance and I hate that the law got approved in NC.

I know there’s not much I can do but vote, which I did.  And if you’ve read this then you know where I stand. I just have a hard time believing people want to prevent others from having the same rights as I do.  It truly blows me a way. 

It is what it is.

If you’re in NC, I hope you got out and voted.  For all you folks who want to screw your fellow man, you were able to vote because of the rights and freedoms many gay and lesbian military members fought for.  Enjoy them while they last. 

1984

In the end it looks like same-sex-couples lost this one and I hate it.  What we see here is what is wrong with our country.   

Louise Reed, also of Asheville, handed out pamphlets urging voters to support the amendment. "The Bible says marriage should be between a man and a woman, and that’s what our church believes in," Reed said.

Source:  USAToday.com

This isn’t about the Bible Louise… it’s about equal rights for all. 

Leave me your comments.  Let’s hear them.

Jay

It’s simple, it’s effective, and women know they have it but seem to deny it.

Strange things happen when women engage us in anything sexual.

We lose our minds and DO AS YOU WISH. 

And it’s not that we don’t want to… it’s why we do it.

Yes, we can beat it, it’s not complete mind control but women are extremely effective.

We do what you say when you say when it’s tied to sex (or something having to do with it)…

Watch the video…

Click here to view the embedded video.

My question to the ladies out there.

Do you know you have this and do you use it as blatantly as the girl did in the video?

I’m curious if you do it on purpose then become two faced and point the finger at us being pigs or whatever name you call us.

But with that being said let me discuss a few concepts that aren’t really talked about but are used either intentionally or unintentionally by all of us.

Women are training us guys like dogs…

Here’s what I mean.

As men we respond to certain things in a certain way.  As an example, if you take the last post I wrote about what boobs do to us you would notice that we respond in a certain way when we see the boobies.  We essentially go mindless.

In the same way, I believe women have trained us in certain ways to get things done around the house, to do things for them, and to get what they want.  And I’ll say this, there’s nothing wrong with it because we do the same thing.  But let’s bring some awareness to it.

First, here’s an excerpt from a book on dog training that was used by a women to train her husband’s behavior.

A young woman married a man who turned out to be very bossy and demanding.  Worse yet, his father, who lived with them, was equally given to ordering his daughter-in-law about.  It was the girl’s mother who told me this story.  On her first visit she was horrified at what the daughter said, “wait and see.”  The daughter formed a practice of responding minimally to commands and harsh remarks, while reinforcing with approval and affection any tendency by either man to be pleasant or thoughtful.  In a year she had turned them into decent human beings.  Now they greet her with smiles when she comes home and leap up – both of them – to help with the groceries.

Source:  Don’t Shoot The Dog!:  The New Art Of Teaching And Training by Karen Pryor

I don’t know if the story is true but it is a fantastic book to give you ideas on how to covertly train people… Including your spouse.  But I’ll leave that for another post.

How do you think women train us.

I’ll start by giving you an example in my life.  I’m working in my office.  I’m totally in the zone writing and thinking.  My wife walks in and I barely notice her.  She gives me the “stun-flash” and I lose the zone and all thoughts.  She now has my attention.

The “stun-flash” has happened enough times now that I hardly hesitate anymore to give her my attention when I’m working.  That works great for her because she gets my attention.  She gets what she wants.  But it doesn’t work so great for me because it breaks my concentration.  And the thing about it, is I hardly have any REAL control over it.

It just happens.

Where else do you think this is happening in our lives.  Where else do you think this is happening in the office, at home, out at the ball field.  With men, that’s why sex sells.  Ads are often designed with sexy women because they know men will stop on a dime.

Here’s another example from a recent Superbowl ad from Go Daddy.

Now knowing what’s going on I hope that we can all be more aware of the influence and control women have over us guys.  I’m not denying that it might happen the other way around too but it probably won’t have anything to do with our bodies or sex.

What Can I Get For $50?

I’ve been privy to a few married conversations that went like this.

She says, “Hey honey, can I have $50 to go get some clothes?”

“We don’t really have it.  Let’s wait till next payday.”

She says, “If that’s how long you want to wait for a BJ, that’s fine.”

“Ok, let me go get the money out of the ATM.”

Is that abuse… LOL, maybe, maybe not.

It does demonstrate a couple of things though.  One the lady in that relationship doesn’t feel comfortable just using the money in the household.  Second, she’s using what she knows will work on her husband.  I’m not saying either is right or wrong, only what I heard.  Maybe it was a joke.  I don’t know but at least now we’re aware of this sort of thing going on.

Here’s one more video that demonstrates what I’m talking about but it’s not the Doritos…

Click here to view the embedded video.

With that being said I will leave you.

As always leave comments if you agree, disagree, or want our team to cover a specific topic.

Jay

Warning: If you are offended by language, profanity or open discussion about sex, love and/or relationships, read no farther. This article is possibly not for you. If you have ever tried to ban something, or participated in such a ban, stop reading now! This post is not for anyone who is intellectually bankrupt or has no capacity or will to advance a conversation either in public or private. Again, if you are easily offended, STOP READING NOW!!!!!!!!

Not the Language of Love…

With that said, let’s get to the heart of the matter. My post today was originally planned to open a conversation around sexual relationships and how we need not be frightened to use the language we have so graciously been provided. Instead, I must address not only this but, the growing ignorance regarding the restraint and now censorship of language itself.

I would like to thank Jay Simcic for his post from yesterday. I will not cover the post, you may via the provided link, and I suggest you do so. His point is timely and well taken.

Source: Fifty Shades Of Grey Banned

We have evolved to a societal apex of enlightened stupidity. Who the hell is in charge of anything in Brevard County, Florida? Way to go dumbasses! You attempted to ban 2 Live Crew. You got a federal judge to rule in favor of the lyrics being obscene. The album and the band were launched into stardom by your intolerance and ignorance. Then, to add insult to injury, the ruling was overturned by a federal appeals court. Free publicity for the band, tax dollars spent for no reason and all you got, to quote Bill Engvall, “Here’s you sign”.

I hope you didn’t rid yourselves of the first sign, because with the removal of the book “50 Shades of Grey” from your libraries, you may just need it. I don’t think there will be litigation, but look at the publicity your stupidity is providing both your county and the book. The book isn’t the issue as much as possibly the education system. Who teaches hate, intolerance, and ignorance on this scale? This must be the Ivy League of stupidity.

Where are we today when we engage one another? Do we intentionally hide behind some false moral code in order to hide our feelings and thoughts? In my opinion, yes.

If you don’t like a band, don’t buy or listen to their music. If you don’t like a book, don’t read it. If you don’t like a movie (The Last Temptation of Christ), don’t drive from your home, don’t withdraw the amount of money required for a ticket from your wallet, don’t buy the ticket and don’t watch the movie.

Radio stations, talk show hosts, television programs, music, movies, art, books, they are all either a form of expression or a medium of such. Banning any part or person destroys the public forum of communicating with each other.

I get that not everything is appropriate for all ages. I get that not everything is appropriate for all places. But to stifle the conversation without regard for anyone but a few mental midgets is counter productive on a universal scale.

Now, for the REAL Conversation

My point for today is the open discussion of sex and sexuality. I want to put the forum in perspective before I write another post so that WE (YOU, ME, US) can have a discussion. Nothing more than people sharing in an open conversation without fear, suppression or concern. That’s where I am today and I want you to join me.

Interested? I hope so. Everything we have, everything we do and everything we share is done through language. You are reading this now because of language. You speak to another because of language. We tell others that we love them because of language. We communicate everything, anything and nothing because of language. And above all, I refuse to allow it to be suppressed or killed off. Join me, PLEASE!

I will not promise to be acceptable. I will not promise to be politically correct. I will not promise to keep it safe for work. But I will promise to communicate and provide open dialog regarding sex, relationships and love as I know it.

Join me or screw off, I don’t care. But, if you’ve read this far, what are you thinking?

We are about to embark on a very interesting journey, a clearing house of conversation and ideas, sharing interests and desires. If you don’t have the stomach for it, so be it. But don’t be surprised when the secrets you keep become the poison that kills your relationship.

What is Taboo?

Sex is not taboo. Learning about sex in a healthy manner is not taboo. We used to teach it in school. Having sex is not taboo, but suppressing discussion based on fear and ignorance certainly should be.

In my up coming book all of this is discussed in detail and we reveal why we share and don’t share information about sex with each other or our children. The reasons are clear and well defined, yet we are afraid of what we don’t know. So let’s dig in and get with it and above all, have fun within the discussion.

Next week I will get back to the point I wanted to cover today. It is dirty, profane and possibly vulgar, but we are talking about sex. Let’s get dirty with it.

So be Forewarned: If Words Scare YOU, Avoid My Posts in the Future.

I will be challenging each of you to get involved in the conversation. Get your families involved, get your friends involved, get your lovers involved, but get involved.

Does the word vagina make you uncomfortable or excited? Does the word penis make you cringe with fear or bring you to erotic thought? There is your homework assignment for next week. If you can’t handle these words, you better hang on to your ass next week.

Until then, please leave me a comment. Love it, hate it, but talk about it. Invite me into your would and I will share mine, but don’t back off now we are only getting started.

Love with no shame and ask with no fear.

Bobby

The book in question is called “FiftyShades Of Grey“.  I’ve included the link in case you want to pick up your copy.

It’s an interesting read.  It’s fiction but gives you a look into a realm of sex and love that many people don’t know about and rarely talk about.

Is it a conversation I would want to have with my 6 year old daughter?  Hell no.

It would be a conversation to discuss with older teenagers who are entering the sexually active years who have questions.  I wouldn’t be opposed to having candid conversations about this when they came up.

My opinion is that open conversation allows young people and adults alike to communicate on a mature level about what matters to them.  And as I recall as a teenager my hormones were firing off.  And if I had someone to talk to about this sort of thing I wouldn’t have had to learn from friends or through experimentation as much.

Besides, I won’t doubt this book will make it to the hands of the people the library was trying to keep it from anyway.

Anyone remember 2-Live Crew?  Ha!

Consider that keeping these things from our young adults forces them to experiment on their own without the proper precautions and frame of mind.

Ok, but back to the book…  It’s so taboo the library is pulling it off the shelves.  Is it censorship?  You decide…

Interesting, don’t you think.  We live in a country that touts our freedoms yet something so simple as a book is being yanked off the library shelves.

Next thing you know fine art that includes nudity will be banned.  How in the hell did we get so friggin’ prude.  On top of that, how did we get to a point where we can’t talk about these things openly with close friends, young adults, or the teenagers we parent.

Are we going backwards in this society or is it just me.

Again, I’m sure this will fire someone up.  Leave your comments if you dare.

Jay

Remember, you’re getting the REAL thoughts of a man about one of the most charged topics known to man. 

Boobs.

Yes, we have nick names for them.  Let’s see if I can come up with a few. 

Fun Bags, Tits, Titties, Racks, Cans, Bazongas, Ta-Ta, Twins…

You get the picture.  The list goes on.  And here’s the thing, we don’t mean any disrespect to women or their boobs.

With great power comes great responsibility.

They actually have great power over us.  You see, there are only a few things in this world that can stop men in their tracks, completely wipe their mind clean of anything, and begin slobbering or mumbling. 

And any part of a boob is one of those things.

And I’m going to tell you, it’s not a controllable thing.  It just happens.  It’s as if it is built in. 

In fact it takes a lot of power and control to NOT look at them. 

Really, just a bit of side boob could be hanging out and we’re looking.  It could be 80 year old granny boobs and we’re looking. 

For REAL.  It’s an involuntary reaction. 

Ninja boob watching is the sneakiest.

We have even developed a method of boob watching that is extremely sneaky.  It’s so ninja it’s not even funny.

I call it “Peri-viewing”. 

It’s when you look at boobs through your peripheral vision.  Now, I’m not going to divulge to you exactly what that looks like because then you’ll throw a hissy fit when you see the look.

And that’s part of the problem.

If women understood that it’s NOT a disrespect thing and it’s an admiration thing maybe you wouldn’t be so up tight about boob watching.

We really do react to them.

Real story, and I’ll probably get beat for it.

I was in my office one day and a certain lady, I find very attractive and have been married to for over 15 years, came in and performed a diabolical 3-second “stun flash”.  She caught me in the middle of doing something.  By the time I saw the Boob flash I was stunned.  I could no longer think.  My fingers stopped typing, my mind went blank, then they were gone.

It all happen so fast but the 1-second that I caught them made the difference.  Not only are they burned into my memory in only a second (spank bank) but it rendered me useless for at least five minutes.   But it didn’t stop there because it invoked an involuntary reaction in the nether region that I couldn’t do anything about.

Ladies, you really do have the power.  But then you complain because we check out the boobs.  It’s ingrained and it is more unnatural to not look.

Cleavage in public and at work.

Now, I’ve got a bone to pick.  I know for a fact when a breeze blows and I have a hole in my shorts I feel it very easily.  With that I know when women are getting dressed and there is 6 to 12 inches of cleavage showing, you know it’s there. 

I can’t help myself.  And don’t tell me you don’t want to be gawked at.  I’ve talked to many women who say themselves, “They know what they’re doing.”

The bottom line is, I’ll do my best not to look but don’t get mad if you catch me peeking using my ninja skills.

And men who are married or are dating these women…  I know you want to see their cleavage. 

And if YOU can see it, so can I. 

So don’t get mad when you see me pulling the ninja maneuver on your girl.  We’ve both got the same animalistic instincts.

Now that I’ve probably pissed off half the country and given away some of the man secrets I’ll probably have my man card revoked.  But I’m hoping for the best.

Do me a favor, you got a complaint, leave a comment.  You agree, leave a comment.  You want us to talk about something juicy or something you’ve been wanting to know about men, leave a comment.

Till next time… I’m going boob watching!

While searching on-line I found a really great article. It was written by a woman and posted as Cyra_Ann’s Blog (see link below). Normally I tend to be very critical of women offering advice about men, but this one gets a lot of things right. Big props to her and I hope to see more from her soon.

Keeping in mind that I expected a “Train Wreck”, the blog was concise and to the point. No extra words in an attempt to look good and it covered some big points that I feel most couples should delve into. I intend to cover many of these in up coming posts, but for now, let’s cover two of the high spots.

Exploring the advice

The title is

“10 Ways How a Woman Should Treat Her Man…”

Right away I was interested. The title specifies the behavior of the woman and intimates a positive result from the man. I wanted to see this…

9. Try to never contradict or embarrass him in front of his friends, co-workers, or family. That can be very emasculating. Sometimes you might have to really bite your tongue, but you can talk to him later when you’re both alone and it’ll show that you respect him.

 

WOW! And thank you. I couldn’t believe a woman was suggesting this to other women. I have seen men completely embarrassed by a wife or girlfriend in this manner.  Generally, no one means for it to happen, but quick tongues in the presence of others can cause hurt feelings. With that said, guys are not off the hook by any means. Although I was pleased to see this mentioned as advice for women, men are also guilty. Rather than take sides, this is good advice no matter the gender. Being right isn’t as important as being supportive, kind and respectful to our significant others.

4. Listen first, and then talk. Let him finish what he has to say before you interrupt. Ask questions if you’re not sure about what he said.

Cyra_Ann’s Blog

Did I read this correctly? Did she really say this? So many of our relationship issues come from trying to make a point, rather than understanding one. And again, this goes for everyone. The interruption of conversation denies the actual conversation itself. Both parties are left wanting because nothing was actually discussed. Tempers flare or the conversation shuts down and rightfully so.
No one enjoys being lectured to, but meaningful, open conversation can lead to understanding and trust. Yes trust! In, an up coming post, we discuss this in greater detail, but just consider that trust is built on understanding a persons intentions. If we understand completely, we can choose to trust or distrust. Otherwise, we have to fill in the blank spaces to make a decision. But then, who do we understand? Not the one we intended to…

This is good information for everyone. I like this blog so much that I will continue its review over the next two weeks in order to cover each of the points in detail.

So, whether you like the post or not, please leave me a comment below. And if there is anything on your mind regarding how a man thinks about sex, love or relationships just ask and I or one of the staff will share our opinion.

Remember to keep the dialog going and if you don’t know…

ASK! ASK! ASK!

Until next week…

Love with no shame and ask with no fear.

I’m writing this because these are topics that are rarely talked about and should be put out in the open.  These are the thoughts, ideas, and musings of men about relationships, love and sex.  With that…

What Men Want Women To Know About Their Penis

Is it a secret? Not really, but it does seem like women want to know stuff about our ‘meat sticks’ and never ask US.

Why?  I have no friggin’ clue…

But I know they’ll go to the girlie mags or to their friends, who don’t know a darn thing about penises, and ask them.

Ladies, why don’t you just ask your man.  Or ask a friend who is a man?

Here’s the deal… We don’t control it.  It controls us.

Surprise… Surprise… Surprise!

It rises when it wants.  Cool breeze, morning sun, the sight of boobs or boob looking objects… any of them causes a rise on its own.

We can’t command it and we can’t wish it away.

Why do you think we get embarrassed when old one eye shows up to the party.

Because we can’t do anything about it but sit down and place a pillow over our lap and do our best to look natural.

There are only three ways to get it back to it’s flaccid state. 

The first is to leave it alone.  Eventually it will go back down. 

But here’s the thing, it’s part of me.  If you don’t like IT, then you don’t like ME… in a way.

The same way you want flowers, I want you to engage it from time to time without 20 minutes of conversation.

But I digress.

The second way to shrink it is conversation. In fact, conversation may be the fastest way to stop it cold.

And the third way to shrink it is the most fun.  I’ll bet you can’t guess what that is…

But it is sensitive, so be very, very careful!

Yes, ladies, it’s not a joy stick for crying out loud.  It’s a huge pleasure source that needs attention and caring.

The two things underneath it are not bean bags you can knock around. 

Be careful.

You’re welcome to look at it but it may cause it to rise.  Again, on its own.  If it does, since you engaged it then be ready to help out.  I have to take care of it enough on my own.

It’s my soap, my peter, and I’ll wash it as fast as I want to.  And we will talk about THAT in an up coming post pretty soon. 

We love when you rub it, suck it, and well… I’ll keep it at least PG-13 but you know what I mean.

Those things really get us going.  We don’t always get into the emotional mood.  We only do that for you.  Because we love you.  So next time you want to know what works for us, just ask.

Now, let’s get to specifics. 

What feels good and what doesn’t.

First, it’s not a race.  I don’t need you giving me rug burn with your hand.  You don’t need you to spit on it and you certainly don’t need to slap it on your face.

Go slow.  Don’t try to skin it like a dead deer.  And don’t be offended if I tell you what to do.

All men are different.  Your man will like things that I don’t.  So don’t be afraid to ask.  In fact, I encourage you to. 

And if you’re asking your girlfriend what her guy likes… forget it.  It’s not the same.

Besides, if you ask your man what he likes and how he wants you to work him over, you’ll be pleased greater in the long run.

But that’s just me.

I’ll leave you with those thoughts for now.

If you have specific questions that you want to know about a man’s penis then just leave a comment below.

The next topic you’ll see from me will be all about what men think about breasts (a.k.a.: boobs, tits, fun bags…)

Yep, our thoughts will be revealed.

Stay tuned till then.  In the mean time, leave me a note.