Enhancement

The Language of Love

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Warning: If you are easily offended by language, profanity or open discussion about sex, love and/or relationships, read no farther. This post is for those open minded people who wish to have a conversation about their personal lives in an effort to improve them and those who engage in the discussion with them. Again, if you are easily offended, STOP READING NOW!!!!!!!!

The Personalities of Conversation

As human beings it’s natural to interact and communicate with each other. We have conversations as groups both small and large. We share thoughts with acquaintances and intimate details of our lives with close friends and family.

 Our mission here at Relationship, Love & Sex Advice is to stimulate conversation and open a dialog for better and more thoughtful communication. We want everyone to jump in and share in the discussion. In some cases, this will be the only avenue for people to get an honest answer to a question, and that’s fine with us. Our staff and guest writers will never hide behind a politically correct veil. Instead, we will shoot you right between the eyes with the most candid response we can fire off.

 For me it is personal, in that, I have a love affair with the English language. I find it to be a thing of beauty and if used correctly will return positive results no matter what the discussion. As you read further, you may find this a bit odd given what I intend to cover here today. You see, language takes on different personalities depending on when and where used. Many disagree with me on this point and feel one should always be as proper as possible. I suggest otherwise.

 Consider when we attend church; our language is appropriate for the event. We wouldn’t be caught saying, “Damn nice sermon today, Father”, of course not! When going to a sporting event, we generally have looser vernacular than during our time at the office.  Golfing tends to bring out euphemisms that normally would be frowned upon in other areas of polite society. And when I served in the military, I was not politely asked to obey a command, I was told to move my ass and get it done! Different language personalities for different areas of life.

Here’s my issue

We see this within ourselves and we know that we change our lexicon to fit the place, time and environment. So why is difficult for us to discuss love, sex and relationships without feeling like our forth grade librarian just entered the room with a pocket full of detention slips? You know exactly what I mean. We tend say words like penis and vagina through a whisper so thin they could barely be heard in a sound proofed room. A different language personality for a different discussion, and be happy to engage in the conversation.

We need to proud of dialog and learn from each other, especially our lovers. Don’t whisper the words, find out what is acceptable, get comfortable using them and define boundaries. I’m not suggesting getting vulgar, but this is love and sex we are talking about. It’s messy, dirty and invigorating, accept it and get used to it. Talk about it and decide with your partner what is acceptable and what is off limits.

Is it okay for a man to text his partner, “I want to have my mouth on your pussy tonight”? I think so, but that’s me. And using the word vagina in this context is just a mood killer. Should she be comfortable texting back, “And I want some cock too”? Yes, if that’s what turns them on, but using the word penis should be criminal. They are just words and they fit perfectly in this private, intimate dialog.

The word “fuck” is used countless times in movies and books and nothing is thought of it. 50 Shades of Grey is now considered “Mommy Porn” and other than a few attempts to ban the book, it has been received with rave reviews. So why are we so afraid of the words when it comes to our personal sex lives? Answer: we are uncomfortable with the words and/or feel our partner is uncomfortable with them when we use them about us. And yet we will both read the books and watch the movies, how disappointing…

Let’s Get Filthy

So I invite each of you to share this post with your partners, discuss the feelings and thoughts surrounding the use of “dirty” words in your relationship and sexual encounters and clearly define the “Off Limits” boundaries. Getting turned on by conversation can and will come to an abrupt halt if an unwanted word is used. Be respectful of each others limits and best of all enjoy what happens as the conversation develops.

If you have never ended a session of sex out of breath, sweaty and soar, I feel sorry for you. Let’s take this opportunity to change all that. Getting filthy in the mud of love is as good as it gets. Let me know how things go and try not to injure each other.

 
As always,
Love with no shame and ask with no fear.
Bobby

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Fifty Shades Of Grey Banned

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fifty shades of greyThis post is off schedule but I just came across this short video on CNN.com which indicates that libraries are pulling a book off the shelves. And I had to get this out while it was on my mind.

The book in question is called “FiftyShades Of Grey“.  I’ve included the link in case you want to pick up your copy.

It’s an interesting read.  It’s fiction but gives you a look into a realm of sex and love that many people don’t know about and rarely talk about.

Is it a conversation I would want to have with my 6 year old daughter?  Hell no.

It would be a conversation to discuss with older teenagers who are entering the sexually active years who have questions.  I wouldn’t be opposed to having candid conversations about this when they came up.

My opinion is that open conversation allows young people and adults alike to communicate on a mature level about what matters to them.  And as I recall as a teenager my hormones were firing off.  And if I had someone to talk to about this sort of thing I wouldn’t have had to learn from friends or through experimentation as much.

Besides, I won’t doubt this book will make it to the hands of the people the library was trying to keep it from anyway.

Anyone remember 2-Live Crew?  Ha!

Consider that keeping these things from our young adults forces them to experiment on their own without the proper precautions and frame of mind.

Ok, but back to the book…  It’s so taboo the library is pulling it off the shelves.  Is it censorship?  You decide…

 

Interesting, don’t you think.  We live in a country that touts our freedoms yet something so simple as a book is being yanked off the library shelves.

Next thing you know fine art that includes nudity will be banned.  How in the hell did we get so friggin’ prude.  On top of that, how did we get to a point where we can’t talk about these things openly with close friends, young adults, or the teenagers we parent.

Are we going backwards in this society or is it just me.

Again, I’m sure this will fire someone up.  Leave your comments if you dare.

Jay

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Fun Bags, Tits, Hooters, Titties, Racks Oh My!

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Boobs, Please Your Man, Fun Bags, TittiesOh my goodness.  I’m sure this post is going to stir some crap.

Remember, you’re getting the REAL thoughts of a man about one of the most charged topics known to man. 

Boobs.

Yes, we have nick names for them.  Let’s see if I can come up with a few.  Smile

Fun Bags, Tits, Titties, Racks, Cans, Bazongas, Ta-Ta, Twins…

You get the picture.  The list goes on.  And here’s the thing, we don’t mean any disrespect to women or their boobs.

With great power comes great responsibility.

They actually have great power over us.  You see, there are only a few things in this world that can stop men in their tracks, completely wipe their mind clean of anything, and begin slobbering or mumbling. 

And any part of a boob is one of those things.

And I’m going to tell you, it’s not a controllable thing.  It just happens.  It’s as if it is built in. 

In fact it takes a lot of power and control to NOT look at them. 

Really, just a bit of side boob could be hanging out and we’re looking.  It could be 80 year old granny boobs and we’re looking. 

For REAL.  It’s an involuntary reaction. 

Ninja boob watching is the sneakiest.

We have even developed a method of boob watching that is extremely sneaky.  It’s so ninja it’s not even funny.

I call it “Peri-viewing”. 

It’s when you look at boobs through your peripheral vision.  Now, I’m not going to divulge to you exactly what that looks like because then you’ll throw a hissy fit when you see the look.

And that’s part of the problem.

If women understood that it’s NOT a disrespect thing and it’s an admiration thing maybe you wouldn’t be so up tight about boob watching.

We really do react to them.

Real story, and I’ll probably get beat for it.

I was in my office one day and a certain lady, I find very attractive and have been married to for over 15 years, came in and performed a diabolical 3-second “stun flash”.  She caught me in the middle of doing something.  By the time I saw the Boob flash I was stunned.  I could no longer think.  My fingers stopped typing, my mind went blank, then they were gone.

It all happen so fast but the 1-second that I caught them made the difference.  Not only are they burned into my memory in only a second (spank bank) but it rendered me useless for at least five minutes.   But it didn’t stop there because it invoked an involuntary reaction in the nether region that I couldn’t do anything about.

Ladies, you really do have the power.  But then you complain because we check out the boobs.  It’s ingrained and it is more unnatural to not look.

Cleavage in public and at work.

Now, I’ve got a bone to pick.  I know for a fact when a breeze blows and I have a hole in my shorts I feel it very easily.  With that I know when women are getting dressed and there is 6 to 12 inches of cleavage showing, you know it’s there. 

I can’t help myself.  And don’t tell me you don’t want to be gawked at.  I’ve talked to many women who say themselves, “They know what they’re doing.”

The bottom line is, I’ll do my best not to look but don’t get mad if you catch me peeking using my ninja skills.

And men who are married or are dating these women…  I know you want to see their cleavage. 

And if YOU can see it, so can I. 

So don’t get mad when you see me pulling the ninja maneuver on your girl.  We’ve both got the same animalistic instincts.

Now that I’ve probably pissed off half the country and given away some of the man secrets I’ll probably have my man card revoked.  But I’m hoping for the best.

Do me a favor, you got a complaint, leave a comment.  You agree, leave a comment.  You want us to talk about something juicy or something you’ve been wanting to know about men, leave a comment.

Till next time… I’m going boob watching!

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What Men Want Women To Know About Their Penis

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WARNING:  What you’re about to read may cause some people discomfort.  If nicknames for your anatomy, foul language and the truth from a man’s view about sex, love, and relationships bother you… then stop reading now. 

I’m writing this because these are topics that are rarely talked about and should be put out in the open.  These are the thoughts, ideas, and musings of men about relationships, love and sex.  With that…

What Men Want Women To KnowWhat Men Want Women To Know About Their Penis

Is it a secret? Not really, but it does seem like women want to know stuff about our ‘meat sticks’ and never ask US.

Why?  I have no friggin’ clue…

But I know they’ll go to the girlie mags or to their friends, who don’t know a darn thing about penises, and ask them.

Ladies, why don’t you just ask your man.  Or ask a friend who is a man?

Here’s the deal… We don’t control it.  It controls us.

Surprise… Surprise… Surprise!

It rises when it wants.  Cool breeze, morning sun, the sight of boobs or boob looking objects… any of them causes a rise on its own.

We can’t command it and we can’t wish it away.

Why do you think we get embarrassed when old one eye shows up to the party.

Because we can’t do anything about it but sit down and place a pillow over our lap and do our best to look natural.

There are only three ways to get it back to it’s flaccid state. 

The first is to leave it alone.  Eventually it will go back down. 

But here’s the thing, it’s part of me.  If you don’t like IT, then you don’t like ME… in a way.

The same way you want flowers, I want you to engage it from time to time without 20 minutes of conversation.

But I digress.

The second way to shrink it is conversation. In fact, conversation may be the fastest way to stop it cold.

And the third way to shrink it is the most fun.  I’ll bet you can’t guess what that is…

But it is sensitive, so be very, very careful!

Yes, ladies, it’s not a joy stick for crying out loud.  It’s a huge pleasure source that needs attention and caring.

The two things underneath it are not bean bags you can knock around. 

Be careful.

You’re welcome to look at it but it may cause it to rise.  Again, on its own.  If it does, since you engaged it then be ready to help out.  I have to take care of it enough on my own.

It’s my soap, my peter, and I’ll wash it as fast as I want to.  And we will talk about THAT in an up coming post pretty soon. 

We love when you rub it, suck it, and well… I’ll keep it at least PG-13 but you know what I mean.

Those things really get us going.  We don’t always get into the emotional mood.  We only do that for you.  Because we love you.  So next time you want to know what works for us, just ask.

Now, let’s get to specifics. 

What feels good and what doesn’t.

First, it’s not a race.  I don’t need you giving me rug burn with your hand.  You don’t need you to spit on it and you certainly don’t need to slap it on your face.

Go slow.  Don’t try to skin it like a dead deer.  And don’t be offended if I tell you what to do.

All men are different.  Your man will like things that I don’t.  So don’t be afraid to ask.  In fact, I encourage you to. 

And if you’re asking your girlfriend what her guy likes… forget it.  It’s not the same.

Besides, if you ask your man what he likes and how he wants you to work him over, you’ll be pleased greater in the long run.

But that’s just me.

I’ll leave you with those thoughts for now.

If you have specific questions that you want to know about a man’s penis then just leave a comment below.

The next topic you’ll see from me will be all about what men think about breasts (a.k.a.: boobs, tits, fun bags…)

Yep, our thoughts will be revealed.

Stay tuned till then.  In the mean time, leave me a note.

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The Best Place to Touch Your Man!

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Please your manIt has always bothered me that articles are printed in major publication claiming to be the over-riding authority on relationships and how a woman should “perform” for her man. I feel strongly that there is no “one size fits all” when it comes to a couple being intimate. However, it is laughable to read some of the things that are printed today.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some nuggets of good information, but come on…

Are we to believe that this is what women think works? All of the time?

So I checked out an article in Cosmopolitan on-line and was amazed at the lack of insight when it came to “His 9 Pleasure Triggers”. Why was I interested? I’m always up for learning something new, but at the same time, I didn’t want there to be any confusion if there was less than accurate information.

 

Here is what I found and some of these are just staggering:

    1. The Outside of His Lower Lip
    2. The Front of His Neck
    3. His Nipples
    4. The Dip Under His Ankle
    5. His Perineum
    6. His Shaft
    7. The Head of His Penis
    8. The Seam of His Testicles
    9. His Frenulum
Source: Cosmopolitan.com

At a glance this list is laughable. I was SHOCKED to think that this was groundbreaking male pleasure spot news. Alright, a few are acceptable and even worth a try, but “The Dip Under His Ankle”? Please! If a woman removed my shoes and socks, then thought I was going to become extremely aroused from an ankle job, we would both be disappointed and possibly a little angry. I am not that complicated and neither are many other men.
So, to be fair, I read on. His Shaft, okay, tell me more. Is it possible that we have something here? Ouch! This sounds torturous! The technique is nothing I would ask to have performed on me! Would it work on some men? Perhaps, but this is what bring me to the real point of this horrible review.

What REALLY Works?

Do you want to know what works for me? Why? 
There is only one person who needs to know that. She has dinner with me, sleeps with me, and more important than any other thing, talks openly and honestly with me. She is the one who has all of the good information, not some made up crap in an on-line magazine. Can we get new things from publications? Sure, but don’t just rush in without some conversation and expect the world to tilt on its axis.

MY favorite pleasure spot is my ear. No, not just licking and nibbling on it (well, that too). Talk to me and let’s get honest and open about what works (and what doesn’t). Call me and let me know that tonight is MY night and that you remember our last conversation about… (Take a moment and fill that blank in). Text me and share a new thought about our last sexual encounter and how we are going to do it better in our next. Send me a photo of something new you are trying on at the mall, but let’s just talk. I get turned on the most over our open discussion about our sex life and what we need, want and desire for and from each other.

The rest is…

Easy.

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