Love

What Does It Take To Turn A Guy On?

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Turn Men OnNot much…

I’m going to give you a handful of straight answers.  I hope you take the hint.

Let’s get to core cookie here.  A WOMAN turns a guy on.  Women are beautiful beings and men tend to be visual creatures.  We like to look, as I’ve discussed in other posts: How To Impress A Man!

But there is so much more to really turning on a man. 

Oh and let me get this out right now.  This is my experience of what turns me on and other guys that I’ve had conversation with.  If you get offended by what I’m saying, think I’m stereotyping or get pissed at anything I write… don’t read it. 

Ok, let’s roll.

Guys are visual and we imagine a lot.  Our imaginations can be extremely powerful.  I’m not a scientist but I would venture to say that 90% of our sexual stimulation comes from our head through imagination.

Many men wouldn’t admit it… but give us a good smut novel and we’ll get rock solid in 10 minutes flat, given the right story.  Hit us with some Nora Roberts and you can forget it.

So what are things women can do to get men turned on?

Boob Swipe

This is when you glance your boobs across our arm, chest… shoot… any part of our body.  We know you’re there.  We feel it.  We like it.  And we want you to keep doing it.  It doesn’t take much to get us going.  It doesn’t have to be skin-to-skin either.  You could put four feet of cement between us and we’ll feel it.  It’s more mental than anything.  It revs up the imagination quicker than a virgin on prom night.

Straight Bend

This one is great.  You know you’re doing it.  It’s when you have those nice pants on and you bend over at the waste.  You give us the shot of a lifetime.  Forget bending at the knees… and we thank you for it.  It gives us just a glimpse of what you got.  Again, our imagination is running the show and more than likely you’re NEKKED (in our mind) when you perform this unbelievably sexy move.

The Elevator Mash

This is when we’re in the elevator and you decide to stand right in front of us.  There’s 15 people in there and you have no choice but to back that thing up.  You graze the member and guess what happens?  The mind starts racing and blood starts flowing.  The bell better ding quick or you’re going to feel a stack of quarters.  Sometimes the elevator mash happens accidentally.  It doesn’t matter, the “uh-oh” mechanism takes over.  This is where uncontrollable comes to play. 

Lighthouse Lanterns

You really want to get our attention, let you nipples get hard and show through your shirt.  Oh man!  Even if it’s a stranger, if the Lighthouse Lanterns show up, I’m looking at least for a minute.  When my wife walks in with hers on, HOOOOLLLLY  SMOOOOKES!  Look out it’s driving me bonkers.  I feel like that commercial… BACON.. BACON… BACON… I WANT BACON!

Sneak Peeks

I love the sneak peeks I get from my wife.  It sets the stage for what’s to come.  It’s a little tease before the action.  The calm before the storm.  These little peeks will cause our minds to race with visuals and fantasies in no time flat. 

Do you realize how hot you make us?

We’re so easy, aren’t we. 

Some of this list is what turns me on and friends I’ve spoken with.  Will this be the same for all men?  Of course not. 

Here’s the biggest thing that turns men on…

Conversation

Yes, a conversation is what it takes to turn us on.  At least it takes a conversation for you to find out what your man likes and doesn’t like.  It takes a conversation for you and him to explore each other in ways you never dreamed possible.  Open up the conversations of what you want, like, and fantasize about and you may end up in a hot sweaty mess.

I find many people don’t open up in the bedroom.  They hold back because they’re afraid of what their partner might think.  They don’t want to say what they truly would like to do.  Instead they hold it in and only fantasize.  Open your relationship up through communication, especially about sex, and you may find your relationship moves to a whole new level.

Don’t be afraid to say, “A little higher”, “A little lower”, “right there”.  “Harder”, “Faster”, “AughhhOhhhh!!!!”

We engage physically and rarely engage to the same level in conversation.  Start there and you will find your sex life and relationship, as a whole, will enhance.

Now that you have a few ideas about what turns men on, how about you leave me a note and tell me what turns you on.  Guys, be open, tell us what you think.  Ladies, give it to us straight.  Give us something to talk about openly.

I hope you have a hot sweaty night!

PS- I’ll be releasing a book soon.  You can look for it around the beginning of July or so.  I might get mauled because of the mancode secrets I’ll be releasing, but I’ll take my chances.  I’ll let you know when it hits the bookstore.

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The Language of Love

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Warning: If you are easily offended by language, profanity or open discussion about sex, love and/or relationships, read no farther. This post is for those open minded people who wish to have a conversation about their personal lives in an effort to improve them and those who engage in the discussion with them. Again, if you are easily offended, STOP READING NOW!!!!!!!!

The Personalities of Conversation

As human beings it’s natural to interact and communicate with each other. We have conversations as groups both small and large. We share thoughts with acquaintances and intimate details of our lives with close friends and family.

 Our mission here at Relationship, Love & Sex Advice is to stimulate conversation and open a dialog for better and more thoughtful communication. We want everyone to jump in and share in the discussion. In some cases, this will be the only avenue for people to get an honest answer to a question, and that’s fine with us. Our staff and guest writers will never hide behind a politically correct veil. Instead, we will shoot you right between the eyes with the most candid response we can fire off.

 For me it is personal, in that, I have a love affair with the English language. I find it to be a thing of beauty and if used correctly will return positive results no matter what the discussion. As you read further, you may find this a bit odd given what I intend to cover here today. You see, language takes on different personalities depending on when and where used. Many disagree with me on this point and feel one should always be as proper as possible. I suggest otherwise.

 Consider when we attend church; our language is appropriate for the event. We wouldn’t be caught saying, “Damn nice sermon today, Father”, of course not! When going to a sporting event, we generally have looser vernacular than during our time at the office.  Golfing tends to bring out euphemisms that normally would be frowned upon in other areas of polite society. And when I served in the military, I was not politely asked to obey a command, I was told to move my ass and get it done! Different language personalities for different areas of life.

Here’s my issue

We see this within ourselves and we know that we change our lexicon to fit the place, time and environment. So why is difficult for us to discuss love, sex and relationships without feeling like our forth grade librarian just entered the room with a pocket full of detention slips? You know exactly what I mean. We tend say words like penis and vagina through a whisper so thin they could barely be heard in a sound proofed room. A different language personality for a different discussion, and be happy to engage in the conversation.

We need to proud of dialog and learn from each other, especially our lovers. Don’t whisper the words, find out what is acceptable, get comfortable using them and define boundaries. I’m not suggesting getting vulgar, but this is love and sex we are talking about. It’s messy, dirty and invigorating, accept it and get used to it. Talk about it and decide with your partner what is acceptable and what is off limits.

Is it okay for a man to text his partner, “I want to have my mouth on your pussy tonight”? I think so, but that’s me. And using the word vagina in this context is just a mood killer. Should she be comfortable texting back, “And I want some cock too”? Yes, if that’s what turns them on, but using the word penis should be criminal. They are just words and they fit perfectly in this private, intimate dialog.

The word “fuck” is used countless times in movies and books and nothing is thought of it. 50 Shades of Grey is now considered “Mommy Porn” and other than a few attempts to ban the book, it has been received with rave reviews. So why are we so afraid of the words when it comes to our personal sex lives? Answer: we are uncomfortable with the words and/or feel our partner is uncomfortable with them when we use them about us. And yet we will both read the books and watch the movies, how disappointing…

Let’s Get Filthy

So I invite each of you to share this post with your partners, discuss the feelings and thoughts surrounding the use of “dirty” words in your relationship and sexual encounters and clearly define the “Off Limits” boundaries. Getting turned on by conversation can and will come to an abrupt halt if an unwanted word is used. Be respectful of each others limits and best of all enjoy what happens as the conversation develops.

If you have never ended a session of sex out of breath, sweaty and soar, I feel sorry for you. Let’s take this opportunity to change all that. Getting filthy in the mud of love is as good as it gets. Let me know how things go and try not to injure each other.

 
As always,
Love with no shame and ask with no fear.
Bobby

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North Carolina Amendment One

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Political Issue? Religious Concern? Bigotry?

Today I felt compelled to release an unscheduled post. Jay has also released a post on the same topic and asked that I provide a more political view to the issue at hand, North Carolina Amendment One.

For those of you not familiar or residing out of the North Carolina area, North Carolina Amendment One is the stare constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage within the state of North Carolina. The amendment passed as of Tuesday, May 8th 2012.

I have many questions regarding the issue and no answers. I can see it from each side, I understand the why it is important, and I get that each side has made up “facts”about the issue. It is undeniable this is an emotionally charged issue, but I ask that we take a step back and look at two facets and this unusual gem.

Is There a Solution?

First, is there a possible solution? I have no idea, but I desperately want our readers to join in the conversation. Please, let me know if there is one, has there ever been one, or can a possible solution be conceived that could satisfy both sides of the argument? I truly don’t know and with all of the vitriol surrounding the dialog, it is impossible for me to get a real grip on weather it has ever been discussed.

I keep getting the feeling that we are fighting over a word and I want input on this. Is it the word “marriage” that gets everybody’s panties in the proverbial twist? If so, is there another way? Rather than suggest that one side is wrong and the other is right, can we work together to create a solution palatable to both sides?

I ask because there always seems to be something we can all agree upon. I spent six years serving in the military in a foreign country. When I first arrived on station the “old heads” gave me an overview of the area and the local people. For quite a while I took their “information” as being the truth about the situation. Once I began to see things as they were and not as I was told, I found the people to be no different than me and my family. I have that same feeling here. Am I getting all of the information and is it correct? I don’t think so on either count.

Where is the middle ground and why are we yelling at each other about it? And another thing, why have many prominent people remained above the fray? In a recent article, I read that many leaders in the Gay & Lesbian community have remained silent during this heated battle. Why? What do they know that the rest of us don’t. It just doesn’t feel right to me and I don’t think we have all of the pieces. Please jump into the conversation and let me know.

Looking from every angle, one thing keeps coming up and I find it very funny. The military has gone through a similar evolution over the last few decades. Should we allow Gays and Lesbians to serve in the military? Then there was “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and now open service. I have a news flash for everyone. There were Gays in the military prior to any regulations regarding them. There always have been and always will be. Now consider the same here in North Carolina. I have several Gay and Lesbian friends, they aren’t going to run screaming for the state boarders just because of this new amendment. In fact, (and here is the funny part) for them, nothing changed. They couldn’t marry before and they can’t marry now. So what did we really change? I mean really?

The Political Bullshit!

Second, the pure political bullshit smells like a seven day old port-a-john at an outdoor rock festival in July. You have got to be kidding me. Our President announces his thoughts on same sex marriage the day after the amendment in North Carolina passes. REALLY! Am I the only one who smells this shit? The day after? Oh wait, it gets better. Vice President, Joe Biden, has offered an apology to the President for releasing this information early. What? It seems that President Obama was going to take a stance in favor of same sex marriages but wanted to do so closer to the election. This is like a fart in a car. You can’t even escape the smell of this one. Roll the windows down and hope for fresh air!

If President Obama has reached a decision with regard to his stance on same sex marriage, fine. Why wait to give us his insights. One reason only, political. He was hoping to gain the votes of the Gay and Lesbian community. Why do I put it this way? Easy, if he really wanted to take a stand and prove that he was for same sex marriage, he would have jumped in and supported it prior to the amendment vote. However he waited for the day after and only because his side kick spilled the beans. There is no disputing that he had his thoughts all sorted out and shared them with his staff. I find it repugnant that our leader chose not to lead. Instead he opted for political gain. I ask you to consider this when casting your next presidential ballot.

 

So please let me know your thoughts. As you can see, I am confused and angry so help me out. Like it or hate it, just tell me about it.

And as always

Love with no shame and ask with no fear

Bobby

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Fun Bags, Tits, Hooters, Titties, Racks Oh My!

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Boobs, Please Your Man, Fun Bags, TittiesOh my goodness.  I’m sure this post is going to stir some crap.

Remember, you’re getting the REAL thoughts of a man about one of the most charged topics known to man. 

Boobs.

Yes, we have nick names for them.  Let’s see if I can come up with a few.  Smile

Fun Bags, Tits, Titties, Racks, Cans, Bazongas, Ta-Ta, Twins…

You get the picture.  The list goes on.  And here’s the thing, we don’t mean any disrespect to women or their boobs.

With great power comes great responsibility.

They actually have great power over us.  You see, there are only a few things in this world that can stop men in their tracks, completely wipe their mind clean of anything, and begin slobbering or mumbling. 

And any part of a boob is one of those things.

And I’m going to tell you, it’s not a controllable thing.  It just happens.  It’s as if it is built in. 

In fact it takes a lot of power and control to NOT look at them. 

Really, just a bit of side boob could be hanging out and we’re looking.  It could be 80 year old granny boobs and we’re looking. 

For REAL.  It’s an involuntary reaction. 

Ninja boob watching is the sneakiest.

We have even developed a method of boob watching that is extremely sneaky.  It’s so ninja it’s not even funny.

I call it “Peri-viewing”. 

It’s when you look at boobs through your peripheral vision.  Now, I’m not going to divulge to you exactly what that looks like because then you’ll throw a hissy fit when you see the look.

And that’s part of the problem.

If women understood that it’s NOT a disrespect thing and it’s an admiration thing maybe you wouldn’t be so up tight about boob watching.

We really do react to them.

Real story, and I’ll probably get beat for it.

I was in my office one day and a certain lady, I find very attractive and have been married to for over 15 years, came in and performed a diabolical 3-second “stun flash”.  She caught me in the middle of doing something.  By the time I saw the Boob flash I was stunned.  I could no longer think.  My fingers stopped typing, my mind went blank, then they were gone.

It all happen so fast but the 1-second that I caught them made the difference.  Not only are they burned into my memory in only a second (spank bank) but it rendered me useless for at least five minutes.   But it didn’t stop there because it invoked an involuntary reaction in the nether region that I couldn’t do anything about.

Ladies, you really do have the power.  But then you complain because we check out the boobs.  It’s ingrained and it is more unnatural to not look.

Cleavage in public and at work.

Now, I’ve got a bone to pick.  I know for a fact when a breeze blows and I have a hole in my shorts I feel it very easily.  With that I know when women are getting dressed and there is 6 to 12 inches of cleavage showing, you know it’s there. 

I can’t help myself.  And don’t tell me you don’t want to be gawked at.  I’ve talked to many women who say themselves, “They know what they’re doing.”

The bottom line is, I’ll do my best not to look but don’t get mad if you catch me peeking using my ninja skills.

And men who are married or are dating these women…  I know you want to see their cleavage. 

And if YOU can see it, so can I. 

So don’t get mad when you see me pulling the ninja maneuver on your girl.  We’ve both got the same animalistic instincts.

Now that I’ve probably pissed off half the country and given away some of the man secrets I’ll probably have my man card revoked.  But I’m hoping for the best.

Do me a favor, you got a complaint, leave a comment.  You agree, leave a comment.  You want us to talk about something juicy or something you’ve been wanting to know about men, leave a comment.

Till next time… I’m going boob watching!

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Making Relationships Work – Relationship Problems Dont Have To Be Hard To Solve

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All it takes is a little guidance and a few tips to put you on the right track. If you’re having trouble in your relationship and are looking for ways to save it then check out this video. You learn why making relationships work isn’t as hard as you thought.

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