Love

Love And Respect-What Men Want In A Relationship

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Love and Respect Is MissingDo men NEED respect in public from their women?

I’ll answer that in just a minute but first I want to tell you why this topic came up.

I’m sitting here reading a book about what men think and it’s written by a woman.  I’m not saying women can’t write about what men think.  They sure can but unless they’ve talked to countless men and gotten past the surface level answers, I’m not sure you can get the full story.

She states that one of the most important things men want from their partner is to get respect in public.  She indicates there is an alarming amount of public disrespect of men by the women they love.

She indicates that dozens of men told her how painful it is when their wives criticize them in public.  She goes on to say that these guys have women put them down, criticize them, and question their judgment in front of others.  She also goes on to say how delicate and fragile men’s ego is.  She indicates that it’s not our ego that’s hurting when this happens but our secret feelings of inadequacy as a man.

Ok, I have to call Bullsh*t here.  I can’t go along with that.

First, let me say that if you think respect is a one way street you’re sorely mistaken.  A woman should respect her man’s judgments, considerations, and word in public or private.  And her man should do the same for her.

Respect is an equal opportunity value.

I don’t care who you are, man or woman, if someone you love criticizes you, teases you, and questions your judgment in public you’re going to be upset if not straight up pissed.

I don’t know what type of guys this author was interviewing or what their situation looks like but she must have found the absolute worst case scenarios.  I go out in public a fair amount and I have to say, I don’t see much of this disrespect going on.

If it’s happening, it’s not being done in my circles.

But like I said, respect is not a male thing or a female thing.  Respect should be given to each other as part of the relationship.  If there is no respect one way or the other, you should either work it out or walk away.

In my opinion you can’t have a relationship without mutual love and respect.  That’s what men want in their relationships (I’ll let the women speak for the women).

Ok… and a little sex too (just adding some humor).

Are there times when teasing can be hurtful?

Sure, but again it goes both ways.  And it’s up to both of you in the relationship to discuss what’s going on.  Your man can’t expect you to know what he’s thinking and feeling if he doesn’t tell you.  And yelling or arguing about the problem doesn’t help at all.

I suggest that you set a time to talk when both of you are alone.  Then have an open and honest conversation explaining how you feel.

Look, everything in our world exists through the language we speak.  You can’t describe the color blue if you didn’t have the words to describe it.  That’s why it’s so important to choose your words with care and communicate exactly what it is you intend to mean.  And when he’s expressing himself try not to cast judgment.

When things don’t turn out like you expected, if he’s upset or if you’re upset, then it’s time to have a discussion and be open and honest about it.  If you don’t have mutual respect and love with open and honest communication how can you expect to have a relationship.

Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes Divorce

A great example of this is the current divorce that’s been announced by Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise.  Consider that any marriage will end if there is some expectation or ideal that was not fulfilled or put to rest.  Of course I don’t know what went on in their household but when you can’t come to a mutual agreement on “show stopper” type matters then all there is left to do is split.

One thing is certain so far, we do see mutual respect for each other because they are staying quiet. They’re not talking down to each other in the media.

All of this begs the question, why should anyone stay in a relationship where there is constant friction, bickering, and unfulfilled expectations?

I think most of the time conflicts can get resolved through communication.  But if one side is unwilling to budge, there’s not much to do except to give in or if it’s a show stopper to end the relationship.

Let’s look at Tom and Katie again.  There has been speculation that the cause over their break up has to do with Tom’s unwillingness to let their daughter out of the Scientology way of schooling.  On the other side, there is speculation that Katie doesn’t want their daughter to grow up in a Scientology school.

I don’t know much about Scientology but it’s like this… if they can’t agree and this particular disagreement is a show stopper for either one of them, then they are doing the right thing by breaking up instead of continuing to bicker and fight.

If you can’t tell, I don’t think fighting, yelling, and bickering is the answer to anything.  Talking, communicating openly, and expressing yourself fully to your partner is.  And if conflict still can’t be resolved then you can both CHOOSE to end the relationship.  I can’t understand why anyone would stay in a relationship that consists of constant bickering and fighting where neither of you can agree.

Relationships are supposed to be filled with love, joy, and engagement… aren’t they?  That’s up to you and your partner to define.

Now back to the crazy lady whose book I was reading… In my opinion, the author of this book clearly missed the mark.  In a way she describes men like you would a child who gets upset because they can’t have their way.

Ladies, if you want to get into the mind of your man please don’t read a book from another woman, talk to a girlfriend, or ask other women.  Ask a few men that you trust for their honest opinion in the matter.  Ask to hear it straight and exactly how they think.  Then you might get part of the picture.

If you want the full picture with love and respect, talk to the man who you know, love and trust.  That’s who you should be getting your information from anyway.

Love… to infinity and beyond.

Jay

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Lights, Action, Drama!!!!!!!!!!

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Relationships today have taken a turn in which life represents art. I am referring to reality TV and the influences it has on our own lives. I am a huge fan of reality TV and I fault no one for watching and enjoying the carnage that takes place on such programs. Forget the Amazing Race and Survivor, I’m talking about the original day-time dirt. There is nothing better than watching a couple of strippers cat fight over a trailer trash, red-neck, hillbilly for female dominance of the Sunny Meadows RV and Trailer Park. YEE-HAAAWWWW, that’s just good old fashion fun!

I get to laughing out loud watching this kind of thing on TV. At times I find myself crying from laughter and thinking, “My life is great”. On occasions I feel as if I need a good dose of day-time trash to make me see my life as good and wholesome compared to others. But the reality of reality TV is that we see ourselves in those performing or living out their lives for all of us to view.

Don’t deny it! We have all sat in front of the idiot box and thought, “We should talk to my in-laws about going on that show”, or “That reminds me of our last Thanksgiving dinner”. We all know someone, some where who would fit right into the current top-of-the-morning “Talk Show”. There is no reason to be embarrassed by it or them, it’s just the way families are. We are all dysfunctional to a certain degree, but we can choose to act upon it or take a different path.

The Set Up…

Going through our daily lives and relationships with those around us, we encounter issues and problems of all kinds. Disagreements, arguments, confrontations, they are with us or part of us every day. And we get to choose how we approach and deal with these every day occurrences. Let me say that again, every day occurrences.

You may make a case that there are days when we don’t have issues and problems. Well, perhaps so, but again that is a choice. But consider that every occurrence in life is presented to us with a choice of how we will behave. In other words, regardless of the situation, we get to choose what happens by how we act upon the issue. What’s that? You don’t believe it? Let’s look at an example…

Johnny and Peg are a married couple. Johnny pays the bills as is their agreement. While paying the monthly cell phone statement, Johnny logs on to view the bill via the web in an effort to find a possible reduction in price based on the couples total usage. He discovers three calls from Peg’s phone to his best friend Tom. All were placed last Friday evening while Johnny was at a company dinner function. The total time for the three calls was more than 90 minutes!

Johnny feels he must address this with Peg immediately. He gathers the phone bill and storms into the kitchen to find Peg.

Cue music. Camera pans from left to right. Camera pulls back for a full view of the audience pounding their fists in the air to a chant of, “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry…”  Enter Jerry, announcing, “And on todays show we have Johnny who is here to confront his wife Peg about her recently discovered infidelity” The audience screams their disapproval. What a great show! Let’s get a front row seat! Johnny has chosen the reality TV approach. This should be good!

OR

Johnny and Peg are a married couple. Johnny pays the bills as is their agreement. While paying the monthly cell phone statement, Johnny logs on to view the bill via the web in an effort to find a possible reduction in price based on the couples total usage. He discovers three calls from Peg’s phone to his best friend Tom. All were placed last Friday evening while Johnny was at a company dinner function. The total time for the three calls was more than 90 minutes.

Johnny feels he must address this with Peg, if only for his curiosity and peace of mind. Over dinner when he asks, Peg reminds him that Lisa, Tom’s wife, had visited that evening after she and Tom had argued. Lisa left her apartment upset and without her phone. Once she was clam she called to talk to Tom and borrowed Pegs cell phone. They worked it out and Lisa was back at home happy later that night. Boring, I know, but Johnny is in control of choosing and the out come will be very different based on his choice.

The Final Act

As I said, these issue are there for us each and every day. Many pass us by without notice and others are thrust upon us to be dealt with in the rudest fashion possible. Either way, we get to choose how we take on the situation. Tell me I am not performing well enough at work. I can call the boss an asshole or ask what is missing that would benefit both of us. When the car breaks down, I can complain about it or deal with the repairs. Either way I have to get it fixed. Find a strange entry on the cell phone bill and get upset or inquire as to why.

Each time I get to choose and be in control and powerful with the choice. I have what it takes to keep the conversation moving forward and in a positive direction. If it is true that Peg is cheating on Johnny, does he need an audience and a talk show host to know how to handle it? I should think not.

Give the benefit of conversation to those around you. Let them be part of the engaging dialogue and offer them the opportunity to get open and honest with you. In return you can be in control by providing the space for such conversation. Many people don’t know how to get to this point but that, in and of itself, could make for a great conversation with someone you love. Embrace the idea of conversational intercourse. It can be extremely stimulating.

That’s it for now. I have to run off to find out if Marty, Sean, Terry or Bubba is Betty Lou’s baby daddy. The DNA results are in! And the hits just keep on rollin’.

 

As always,
Love with no shame and ask with no fear.
Bobby

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Improve Your Relationship-Give 100%

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Improving Your RelationshipIf you’re truly interested in improving your relationship, taking it to a new level, or starting off on the right foot then I urge you to read every word of this article.  Some of it may be confronting.  Some of it you may disagree with.  Some of it may even cause you to read even more.  Why? Because we’re getting into how we work as human beings.

The first thing I’d like you to consider is that YOU didn’t choose your partner.

Your past, your experiences, your reasons, and all that has happened to you over time made the decision for you on which partner to have.  I would even venture to say that it isn’t YOU who is in the relationship with your partner.  It’s all those things you’ve retrieved in the past that are running you at an unconscious level that decided who your partner should be.

According to an article from Psychology Today written by Sandra Brown, M.A., our default programing is what makes the decisions for us in our relationships. It indicates that we have hardware (our DNA) that makes up our traits and software (all the things we pick up in life) that guide us on what to do.  Here’s the part that really stood out to me…

By the time women contact The Institute, they are so exhausted by the lifetime of the pathological energy-sucking relationships that they are ready to do what it takes to stop this.  Simply stating “I am NEVER going to do this again. I am going to pick differently in the future” doesn’t register to your software program. It’s still set on the default pattern of selection it has been set on for years.  If you could look at the software settings internally it would look like this:

x  Narcissistic

x  Cheater

x  Pathological Lying

x  Charming and deceitful

x  Helps me ignore my red flags

x  Induces fantasy thinking of how my future MIGHT be

x  Honeymoon cycle followed by D&D (Devalue & Discard)

x Intense, intensely pursued

x Hypnotic, I can’t think or choose differently while with them

These might be some of the traits you are repeatedly selecting through your software default program.
In software programs, it’s noted that ‘Using defaults will tend to increase errors, as users may leave incorrect default settings selected.’

Hmmmmm… yeah. Can we agree that’s true? The difficulty in Pathological Love Relationship recovery is that women read a book or go to a counselor and talk about the pain of the relationship but never get down to the reprogramming of the software.  Hardware comes as it is and will always be there and you will always be ‘bent’ in a direction or proclivity for these relationships. BUT you can put in different software programming that will let you pick from a NEW SET of default choices and not automatically ‘defaulting back’ to what you have always chosen. You have to choose differently in order to get a different outcome.

Source:  PsychologyToday.com

With all that, I’m not saying the person you’re with is wrong for you. In fact, they’re perfect for you, in my opinion.  I’m not saying that where you’re at in your relationship needs to be fixed.  In fact, it doesn’t need fixing, it just needs a new view point to take it to a new level.

I am suggesting that where you are right now isn’t because you chose it from a clean slate.  I’m saying you got there because of some circumstance.  And whatever you are dealing with in your relationship right now can be worked on with ease and simplicity.

How can you do that?

First, take your relationship as-it-is.  Accept it for what it isn’t and what it is.  Stop comparing it to anyone else.  Stop comparing it to movies, friends, or anything for that matter.

Take it AS-IS.

Then give 100% and expect 0% in return.  Take your partner how they are with all of their plusses and all of their shortcomings combined.  Give everything you have and expect nothing back.  When you do this you may find yourself in a realm of giving you’ve never experienced before.  Give the level of unconditional love you would give to your own child or your parents.  That’s how you give 100% and expect nothing back.

Next, be present with them.  Be in the moment, listen to them, feel their words and the connection with them.  Take your intimacy to elite status.

Being 100% present is about ALL OF YOU being engaged with whoever you’re with – AND BEING IN THE MOMENT.

It is not a 100% focus on your spouse (or other person you’re with at the time), that will usually drive them away or creep them out.

Instead, it’s learning how to calm and soothe yourself so you can fully listen to others.

You can think and respond.

You can connect on a deeper level.

You can even practice being 100% present without either party saying a word.

Many times we reach out to our spouse (or others, or Facebook, Twitter, texts) as an attempt to calm our own anxieties or insecurities. We want them to positively engage us in some way because that will make US feel better about ourselves and/or our relationship.

At it’s core, this is an emotionally propping up. And over time, a person that has to be emotionally propped up becomes very unattractive.

Being present is learning how to listen, think, emote, respond, act, and/or choose appropriately in any situation.

Try this:

Practice becoming more aware of your own level of presence as you go throughout your day.

When you talk to someone on the phone, don’t do something else while talking.

When you engage with someone in person, practice being still and listening.

You don’t have to engage and respond right away, after all you’re not in a tennis match with them – you’re in a conversation. Silence and pauses are okay.

Give up on the idea of multi-tasking – you wind up doing more things poorly rather than one thing well. Embrace the idea of sequential-tasking. What ever it is you’re doing or involved in, commit completely to it. Then disconnect and move to the next thing and fully connect there.

This will begin to pave the way for you to act more from your core and your values (i.e. the best in you), rather than your anxiety, in every situation.

Source: SimpleMarriage.net

The only thing I’ll add to that is that being present includes you getting in tune with your partner’s emotions, thoughts, and listening of you.  When you begin to get so present you can be with a person the way they are and they way they are not, you’ll find yourself taking your relationship to profound status.

I remember a moment of presence for me.  We were sitting at the dinner table.  It’s my wife, my daughter, and me.  My mind was empty and I was concentrating and being with both of them.  I wasn’t listening, while thinking of what I had to do at work.  I wasn’t listening, while wondering how tomorrow was going to go.  I was listening, intently, with focus, and 100% with them. I was connected on a new level.

It does take practice.  I do forget sometimes.  But adding that to my relationships both intimate, friendships, and business has taken them to a place that can only be felt.

To me it’s a simple formula:

Being present + Giving 100% of your love and emotion and expecting 0% = An enriched relationship with ever lasting love and affection.

A mentor of mine said, “The only person in every situation that can make a change is YOU.”

You see, we always want people to change.  We can’t make people around us change.  We can only change ourselves.  In fact, I don’t even think we change ourselves.  We change our view of how things are and our actions follow suit.

How do you like them apples?

Let me know what you’re thinking.  Tell me what you want to discuss. Love?  Intimacy?  Sex?  Let’s get it out so the RLA team can write about it.

Love… to infinity and beyond!

Jay

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Toys, Toys, Toys…

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Warning: If you are easily offended by language, profanity or open discussion about sex, love and/or relationships, read no farther. This post is for those open minded people who wish to have a conversation about their personal lives in an effort to improve them and those who engage in the discussion with them. Again, if you are easily offended, STOP READING NOW!!!!!!!!

I get asked on a regular basis how my readers feel about the use of sex toys. You would think that this question comes from only men or only women. The reality is that both men and women ask the question and I finally thought it needed to be addressed.

It is interesting how many people are interested in the use of marital aids and if other people use them. With the internet, adult novelty stores, and adult in home parties I would have thought that the information would be out there and everywhere to find. And it is. But what people want to know has nothing to do with themselves as much as it has to do with the how they fit in with everybody else.

You see, there have been marital aides, sex toys, novelty devices, what ever you want to call them, for decades. Magazines made it easier to order them rather than having to personally visit the seedy adult “book store”. They were delivered in a “non-descript” package that screamed “Hello! Vibrator inside”. The mail carriers knew everyone on their routes that had personal items delivered. Don’t forget the flood of not so non-descript mailings that followed. I ordered them, I went to the adult book stores (and I still do) and so did any other neighbor who wished to enhance their sex lives via these interesting little battery operated devices.

Now we have the internet which turns our computers into the largest adult novelty stores known to man. We can search things from the mild to the wild. I share the web sites I use with with my family and friends. We discuss not only the items themselves, but how to order, is the company reliable, how long does it take to arrive and what is the cost. Everything you can think of is available, toys for straight sex, gay sex, lesbian sex, bondage, discipline, pain, electricity, water torture, cages, sex furniture (one of my personal favorites) truly anything at all. Pick a subject and just run a Google search. Anything you want to buy or know about is there, except for the one thing we all want to know.

Why Do People Ask Me?

Great question. If it’s all out there to find, browse, learn about and purchase, why is it people want to talk to me about sex toys. I figure it comes down to the truth. I have no problem sharing what I know personally and what I have learned from research and my readers. If it helps anyone to improve their sex lives, I’m all in for the conversation. They ask and I answer. It’s not always comfortable for everyone but they get the answers and in many cases I get new information from them as well.

We have a few very close friends who we will show our new toys to and in turn they do the same for us. It is interesting when you remove the embarrassment from the conversation how interesting it becomes. We love to learn from each other and relive the excitement from a previous nights sexual adventure. Many times I have been shown our friends new items and immediately went out to purchase the same for us. But I would have never known if we were not open to the conversation in the first place. We laugh, drink and talk and have a great time.

I have a close friend who manages an adult store in the south of our state. When I get a chance to visit the first thing I ask is what’s new in the market. She goes from “happy to see you” to “the doctor is IN”. She covers each new item with the expression and delivery of a doctor explaining a new pharmaceutical. No embarrassment, just factual conversation, she’s great and I value her opinion. I never ask her about her other customers I just want the facts and to find out if I’m missing anything I should be aware of. If you ever visit such a store, I recommend the first thing to do is befriend the clerk or manager. They know everything you need to know and will share if you are friendly and interested. So, we still haven’t gotten to the bottom of what we all want to know about the subject of toys…

What We All Want to Know is…

Without fail, each and every person who asks me about toys, my research and my readers wants to know one thing, where do they fit in to the big equation? We want to know if we are weird or strange. Do men like a certain thing? Do women try this at home alone or with their partner? Do men allow toys at home or are they afraid? How do I get my wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend interested? Should I say something or just go buy the damn thing? Who else likes this particular thing?

Am I weird or do I fit in?

If we were to stop and think about it without fear of reprisal, it is obvious that human beings have been engaging in sexual reproduction since the dawn of time, hence reproducing. Since it is such a pleasurable activity, we do it often and attempt to improve upon what we already know. Records indicate that sexual proclivities have been around since recorded history. Now that we have the internet to propagate the spread of new ideas, we think we have found something new that might be seen as a little off key to others in our social networks. Not a chance. I rarely get shocked by anything and this is no different. People have been taking pleasure from each other since the beginning, why stop now?

Do you fit in to what everybody else is doing? Who cares? If it feels good, doesn’t break any laws and is between consenting adult, go for it. If it doesn’t work for you, fine. Just rest assured that you’re no different than any of the others out there asking the same question. Embrace it, get comfortable and enjoy.

And if you have a question, think you can shock me, or just want to chat send me a message. Just don’t be offended by the open and honest dialogue.

As always,
Love with no shame and ask with no fear.
Bobby

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Common Relationship Problems With A Hair Trigger

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She was standing at the end of the driveway sobbing.

How is this going to go.  What if the police show up.  What if I actually do it.  Screw him, he deserves it.

As she approached the house, she pulled the handgun out of her purse.

This is it, show time.

She twisted the knob gently and casually walked in.

“Hey Johnny, where are you?”

“I’m in the kitchen”, he answered.

She raised the gun and aimed at his head as she stepped into the kitchen.

“What the hell’s going on?  What are you doing?  Why do you have a gun?”

“I know you’ve been cheating on me, Johnny!”, she yelled.

“What are you talking about?  I haven’t cheated on you.”

“Then why did I see the charge on our Visa from Victoria’s Secret?  You’ve never brought me anything from there and it’s been weeks since I saw it on the card.  My birthday is over six months away.  You dirty bastard. I can’t believe you would do something like this. ”

Her face turned red and her hands started to shake as she thought about the possibilities.

“Who is she, Johnny!  Tell me.”

Johnny looked at her as a tear began to form in his eye.

“It’s YOU.  It’s you, sweetheart.  I thought I would surprise you when you get the promotion you’ve been talking about.  I thought about it weeks ago and didn’t know when your promotion would go through.  I figured I would get you something nice and give it to you when it happened.”

Johnny started to shiver out of fear.

“Now put the gun down. We seriously need to talk. What made you go to this extreme?”

She dropped the gun and started to cry…

***

Now that’s a bad situation.  And it could happen to anyone.  Yes, it’s a little dramatic but when you consider emotions, the chemicals in your brain, and your reactions based on what’s going on in your life, this event is possible on varying levels.  And the roles can be reversed.  Man or woman, husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, we ARE invested in our relationships.

Where does all this come from?

You’re probably saying to yourself right now… “That wouldn’t happen to me.”

Sure, maybe not to this extreme but how many times have you jumped to conclusions about other things that weren’t true at all.  It happens to all of us.  And it’s ok.  It’s not right or wrong, good or bad.  It happens and it’s our job to become aware of it so we can do something with it.

First, let me tell you about this great bit of information I found on Psychology Today that explains some of the chemical wirings that might be causing some of this to happen.

Love triggers oxytocin
Oxytocin is the neurochemical that causes trust. It’s released during orgasm, and in smaller amounts when you hold hands and when animals lick their babies. Oxytocin is the good feeling of a common cause, from a political rally to a football huddle to honor among thieves.
Reptiles release oxytocin during sex, but mammals produce it all the time. That’s why reptiles stay away from other reptiles except when mating, while mammals form attachments to relatives and herds. The more oxytocin you release with a person, the more attached you feel. More touch, more oxytocin, more trust. But trust gets complicated in the human brain. You trust a person to live up to your expectations, and don’t realize how complex your expectations are. Eventually, your loved one fails to meet your expectations, and you fail to meet theirs.

To your mammal brain, any loss of trust is a life-threatening emergency. When a sheep is separated from its flock, its oxytocin dips and its cortisol surges. Cortisol is the feeling we experience as fear, panic, or anxiety. It works for sheep, motivating them to re-connect with the flock before they’re eaten alive. In humans, cortisol turns disappointed expectations into emergencies.

Source:  Psychology Today

What does all that mean?  It means that when you encounter an incident that has you lose trust in your partner your brain surges with cortisol which causes fear, panic, or anxiety.  It means in the situation above the lady felt like her life was threatened.  It was fear of the unknown and her brain filled in the blanks.

Think about it.  If you’re a jealous person I bet you experience these types of situations more often.  The unknown causes you to fill in the blanks and if you’re jealous you’re probably filling in the blanks with lots of stuff like cheating, messing around, lack of love, my partner loves other things more than me, etc.  That in turn creates this cortisol pump the psychology folks talked about.

Can you see how, if you don’t put a stop to it and become aware of how YOU are being, these things will continue?

Of course you can.

Once you’re able to become aware of how you act and react to things you’ll start to get a handle on it.  Add to it a healthy dose of honest communications with your partner and you’ll be on your way to a superstar relationship.

Is it easy?  I don’t know if it’s easy or hard.

It’s just what IS in many relationships.

You see, we often times don’t want to admit much of this to ourselves because it can be confronting.  It’s almost like you’re admitting you have a flaw.

The thing is, it’s NOT a flaw.  It’s a past experience, an expression of who you’ve been, and a survival mechanism you use to get through your relationships.

Let me give you another example…

My wife walks into my office.  I’m at my computer concentrating on work.  She comes behind me and gives me a big hug.

Quickly I pull away, throw my glasses on the desk… THWAP!

I turn back around and hug her back.

Depending on the perspective, past experiences with throwing things down, past experiences with pulling away quickly and everything else dealing with a similar  situation…she might interpret anger and that she is being a nuisance.  While on my side I just wanted to get all into the hug and enjoy it with out crushing my glasses.

Here’s the rub. In the moment, nothing was said.  It was all action.  It left our minds to fill in the blanks and thoughts associated to feelings and sounds.  There was NO meaning from the actions themselves.  They were just actions.  It’s our brains that want to immediately fill in the blanks because of our learned survival mechanisms.

Had we not had a conversation afterward, that entire incident could have been interpreted as something it wasn’t and held on to for the rest of the day.

Boy that would make for a fun night, wouldn’t it.  We could have been at each other’s throats.

Can you see the importance of conversation in your relationships?

In my experience, this sort of stuff really begins to ruffle feathers.  You may disagree with my writings.  You may agree with my writings.  I don’t know but no matter what it can’t expand and open up to something new unless we have a conversation.

As Bobby wrote in the previous article, Making Any Relationship Work, conversations allow you to open your mind, see different view points and either keep or disregard your current view.  If you’re holding it in, having the conversations with yourself, you might as well stop now.  You’ll always agree with yourself.

So, if you disagree with me or anyone on the RLA team let’s hear it.  Give me your thoughts and opinions.  Lets start a dialogue.  You never know how we’ll end up on the other end.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.  -Buddah

I would add to that holding on to anything at all yields the same result.

Enjoy,

Jay

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