That is what every cell in your body is screaming.
Unfortunately you are not the one who filed for the divorce, so it may not even be possible. But you can stop the divorce any time before it becomes final, and since it’s still not final there may still be time to save this marriage.
Of course stopping a divorce is not an easy task. Obviously something got your mate to file for divorce in the first place. So probably begging and whining are not going to be your most effective tactics at this stage of the game.
A simple conversation is probably the best place to start the process. Find out if your, soon to be ex, is amenable to having a conversation about the impending divorce, and then you can go from there.
The more delicate you are in broaching the subject of reconciliation the better it will likely be received. So leave your demands and your hurt feelings at home, because for there to be any chance of this working, you must remain calm and even tempered throughout the conversations.
Begin by asking why your spouse wants a divorce, and then listen to the answer. This may be part of the problem right here, and you may be surprised to learn something new just because you are actually listening for the first time.
Listen and Understand
Then if you understand the reason and think that it is something that the two of you can reconcile, let your mate know that you want to stay married, and that you are very sad at the prospect of a future that does not include them.
If your spouse is interested in trying to reconcile, you may want to suggest that you visit a marriage counselor to help find a constructive way for the two of you to sort out your problems. Millions of couples have benefited from counseling, and it may be just the ticket for the two of you also.
Be open to suggestions where you can improve yourself and your relationship, and assume that your spouse will want to do the same. If during the course of counseling you discover that your spouse doesn’t want to do any work to improve your situation, then you may reassess how you feel and let the divorce continue.
Remember that for this reconciliation to work, you both have to want it.
Be Smart with your Second Chance
Now you’ll have the chance to let your spouse see why they fell head over heels in love at the beginning of your relationship. Just seeing you work so hard on your relationship might be enough to let your spouse really appreciate how much your marriage means to you. It might be all that they need to call off the divorce.
If you are fortunate enough to have your divorce shelved, remember that you got there once, and do your best not to push your relationship to this point ever again. If continuing counseling for one or both of you helps save this marriage, then this may be your ticket to a long and happy future together.