Jay Simcic

Relationship posts are written by a self-proclaimed expert on relationships. He's been married for over 15 years and has a lovely daughter who is 6 years old. You can read more on the information page: http://www.relationshiploveadvice.com/blog/about/

Happy New Year

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HappyNewYearHappy New Year!

I hope you are having a wonderful time with your friends, loved ones and anyone else that is special to you.  This is a time to get started on a spectacular 2013.  It doesn’t matter if it’s with your partner or your career everything stems from YOU taking action.  So go make something happen and leave your mark on 2013.

Love… to infinity and beyond.

Jay

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Are You in a Toxic Relationship?

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iStock_000020028014XSmallHave you ever been in a relationship and just felt like something was wrong but you could not quite put your finger on it? It may be because the following actions, which in my opinion are toxic to a relationship, could be getting filtered as normal.  Here are five things to look for in a toxic relationship…

  • Verbal Putdowns – When your partner verbally belittles you, especially around other people you may have something to discuss.
  • Mismatched Actions – When your mate says one thing and does another. For example, they say they are in love with you and then act like they do not care, you may have an issue that needs to be handled.
  • No Trust – When your partner does not trust you, a conversation between you must be top priority.
  • Dependency – When your mate tries to have you be completely dependent by limiting your activities or circle of friends, another red flag is flown.
  • Compromise – When your partner demands that you change things to please them, and you seem to be the one compromising, maybe it’s time to talk.

All five of these things are big, red warning flags that should warn you that it’s time for a conversation about your relationship or it could become toxic very quick.

It is so easy to see the problem when someone else falls into a toxic relationship. Why is it so hard to tell when you are in one?

It’s because that relationship has become normal.  It’s just the way things are.   And now, being aware of those actions is what it will take to help you get it straight.

You should know that you always have choices. So if you choose this type of relationship, then fine, you get what you get.  But you shouldn’t choose it then complain about it.  If you choose it, you choose it the way it is and the way it isn’t.  However, before you choose it, there’s nothing that stops you from talking about it with your partner first.

Why not get on the same page first.  Before you sit down, identify what you want and what you don’t want in a relationship.  Identify your don’t want’s that are show stoppers, for instance, does he beat you?  That might be a show stopper.  In other words, identify the behavior you are not willing to tolerate or compromise on.  Set those down and if they are violated then it’s time to get out.  Everything else is negotiable.

Also realize that your relationships are what you make them.  You do get some control in the relationship.  You get to say how it goes and what you do with it.

If you’re in that type of situation, look at what you want.  Get clear on what you don’t want. Then have a conversation with your partner.  It’s that simple.

Love… to infinity and beyond.

Jay

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A Successful Marriage Requires

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SuccessfulMarriage

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you ever wonder how to do this just leave a message in the comments below.

Love… To infinity and beyond.

Jay

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Blow Through Your Persistent Problems

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TheMeaningMakingMachine_1Have you ever noticed the problems in your relationship.  I bet you could list them off the top of your head.  You know the problems that persist no matter what you do or say.  No matter what you do these problems seem to show up.  And what’s worse is they show up at the worst times. 

Have you ever wondered why these problems continue to persist?

The reason they persist no matter what you do or try is because no matter what you’re doing or trying your context is the same.  What do I mean by context…

Context – the interrelated conditions in which something exists or occurs.

Source:  Merriam-Webster

The conditions that these problems persist inside of are your own assumptions, hopes, cynicisms, resignations, and experiences.  Or you could say that your context is derived from the person you are today based on your past.  And unless these things change you’re probably going to get more of what you already have.

How can you change your past?

You can’t change the actual events of your past.  But you can change the meaning you have given those events.  When you start to look at your past you might find that you’ve given certain meanings to it.  Maybe your relationship with money is the way it is because you didn’t have nay growing up.  Maybe you think money is the root of all evil because that is what your parents taught to you. 

You must first be open to the idea that you can change your context at will.  Look at the situation from different angles.  Analyze your feelings and find out where you’ve created meaning from past events.  Look to see if you could see a different meaning for that event.  When you can do that you’ll begin to shift your context.  You’ll begin to shift the way you look at the persistent problems.  You may even find that those problems stop being problems and become an opportunity to get closer to your partner.

If you really want an opportunity to blow away your persistent problems then I urge you to grab a copy of Bobby’s new book called “The Meaning Making Machine”.  It’s on Amazon right now and it will demonstrate very quickly why you are the way you are and how your human computer has controlled you since you were born.  But you have  a choice and you’ll see why and what you can do about it.  Go check it out.

Love… to infinity and beyond.

Jay

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The Love Chemical Is Back In The News

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It’s no surprise.  Scientist have isolated a hormone that improves monogamy.  Yes it is Oxytocyn.  That very hormone we talk about in Mancode Secrets Revealed.

You’re probably wondering what is so special about this magic chemical in your body that we had to mention it again.

Check this out…

So what is this magic hormone? Oxytocin would be the hormone that can put the magic back in your relationship. Granted, no magic pill or hormone can overcome a bad attitude in a relationship, but this hormone has some extra special qualities.

In the study, when they placed healthy men near attractive women, the distance both monogamous and single men in relationships kept from the woman were about the same. They did not keep much of a distance. But when oxytocin was administered nasally the monogamous men kept a significant distance from the beautiful female compared to the single men. It did not seem to have any effect on the single men.

So what does this mean? It means by finding out how to get your body or that of your spouse to produce more of this hormone, it will be easier to stay monogamous.

Source: Examiner.com

The best part about this chemical is you can cause your body to produce more of it.  All you have to do are all the things you’re familiar with in your relationship. 

You can hold hands, kiss, or have sex.  You can eat your favorite food, smell something you like, or even do something fun with your partner.  It’s that simple.  And the benefits are more than just monogamy.  You may find yourself relaxing.  Your blood pressure could go down.  Your stress level could drop significantly.  You might even find you heal faster.

I guess that’s why doing things you love with your partner make you feel so darn good.

Next time you’re in a funk, do a little of the nasty.  Hold some hands, roll on the floor, or kiss.  It’ll be fun and stress free.

Love… to infinity and beyond.

Jay

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