The Morality of Fifty Shades of Grey

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There have been several accounts of attacks on the book Fifty Shades of Grey.  In fact here is one post we wrote regarding one of those attacks.

Fifty Shades Of Grey Banned

The “let me impose my morals on you” crowd are at it again.  Recently an article was published in the United Kingdom and again in the Los Angeles Times regarding a UK charity calling for the collection and burning of the book Fifty Shades of Grey. Here are the links respectively:

Fifty Shades of Abuse Campaign UK

LA Times Report on British Charity

As it goes, the charity director, Clare Phillipson, has claimed that the book “normalizes abuse, degrades women and encourages sexual violence”. Further she states the book sends the message that “domestic violence is sexy”.

Now, I want to be fair and state clearly, neither I or anyone at RLA approves of domestic violence. There is no further discussion for us on this matter. However, to take a piece of fiction that deals with a consensual world of BDSM and apply it to a serious issues like abuse and domestic violence does little to promote your cause. I only hope that the good people at Wearside Women in Need, in Sunderland, were just trying to find coattails of a rapidly accelerating item to hang their agenda on in order to gain recognition. If so, well done! But, domestic violence, I’m sorry to vehemently disagree.

Fifty Shades of Morality

When it comes to the right and wrong of an issue, there can be as many different opinions as there are people in the argument. And we are programed to strive to always be right. We try to put everything into neat little piles that define the right and wrong of a situation. But it cannot always be so neat. Truly there are laws governing behavior. Laws are constructed to be a representation of the people they govern. If you don’t like the laws, vote in new representation or perhaps move to a place more to your liking.

We have laws governing everything from drugs to the speed limit. They change from state to state and from one country to another. And they reflect the citizens of those regions. But when it comes to sex, who gets to decide what two consenting adults get to do for pleasure?

The morality of the question is neither perplexing or convoluted. No one should be able to impress their standard of sexual morality upon another, provided there remains consent and maturity, i.e. consenting adults.

The book is designed to provide a view into a sexual social circle that does, in fact, exist.  To think otherwise is fooling yourself. There are complete web sites for just this type of behavior. They sell quality items for binding and restraining. One of the largest is Extreme Restraints, I suggest caution if you are a first time visitor to the site.

But the real trouble, as I see it, is not the desires written in the book, it’s what people make them into using their personal moral values. In the book Fifty Shades of Grey, Anna is given several opportunities to walk away from the “life style” and yet she chooses to remain, negotiate a contract and participate. The character Anna was portrayed as an open minded intelligent woman who choose to engage and enjoy a sexual adventure with a man she deeply cared for. Now that’s my view and opinion.

Now assume that I found the book to be objectionable, it would be easy for me to see it in a far different manner. Where I get tangled up is no one has the authority to force others to behave as their personal morality dictates. If you don’t like the book, don’t buy it and don’t read it. If you don’t like sex using restraints, don’t participate in it. But, don’t tell me how to live my life and, for heavens sake, don’t confuse consensual sex fantasies with a serious issue like domestic violence.

Fifty Shades of Reality

Just mentioning the word “sex” will elicit and provoke thoughts of a wide and varied range within people. What is mild to some is wild to others. What is considered strange to a few can be widely accepted by many. It is our experience level, our comfortably and our morality that makes it what it is. At the early age of _______ (fill in the blank) when the world of sex began for you, everything was exciting and new. As you became more comfortable with a partner or the act, it can be less thrilling. So we move on to new and more exciting things. There is nothing wrong with consenting adults experimenting and enjoying new sexual exploits.

Generally, it is necessary for one partner to be in control and the other to be submissive during sex. What’s the problem? We don’t what to acknowledge this  happens naturally? And then when a accepting, adult couple wishes to try something a little more racy, we get our panties in a knot? Pardon the pun. And that’s knickers in a twist for our UK readers.

Please don’t think for a minute that I give two craps about what you do in your bedroom. I don’t. But the success of this book cannot be denied. It holds the record for the fastest selling book ever in the U.S. topping the huge favorite Harry Potter. More than 3 million copies were sold electronically in less than a month. The book has enjoyed more than 60 printings. 37 countries have the rights, and it has been translated to more than 30 languages. It topped the New York Times Best Seller list for 15 weeks and the movie rights have sold for $5 million.

Although the book continues to remain popular, industries seem to build upon its supposed immoral position. The Daily Anthem published this article Fifty Shades of Grey success illustrates social depravity. Their claim is that the books success is a clear indication of social depravity. Really? Who’s morals are we using for this litmus test? It also suggests that sexually repressed housewives are the target market. If that’s the case, what are we missing? Are we depraved or sexually repressed?

Fifty Shades of Role Play

Our readers have been asking about role playing, the benefits thereof  and the nuances of playing roles in the bedroom. Is Fifty Shades role playing? I think it is but at a level some may find challenging. Role playing can be a great enhancement to bedroom (or outside thereof) activities. What’s right for you? Hell, I don’t know, but I suggest if this question is there for you and your significant other, try it on and see what happens.

Does she want to be the French maid, posing seductively while “dusting”? Does he want to be the repair man who gets a great send off after tending to the broken television. Or do you both want to try out  mild restraints and open power exchanges? Give it a whirl, but don’t forget the golden rule of RLA Advisors…

Have a conversation, be respectful with no judgment, set it up, enjoy and report back to us the success of your Fifty Shades of Happiness.

As of late, the inquiries we receive have been very sexually charged and we will attempt to address them one at a time. I will be covering role playing in detail in an up coming article. Keep the questions coming and give us the time needed to generate a solid response. I apologize if we have not yet covered the area you are waiting for, but I promise we will soon.

In the mean time you should grab a copy of our first book.  You may find new openings for action in your relationship and an enhanced sex life.  All it takes is a few minutes of your time.  Go grab it, it’s only $2.99.

Mancode Secrets Revealed: Relationship Advice For Women

As always,

Love with no shame and ask with no fear


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