This is the final post in the Relationship Breakthrough Challenge. We are about to uncover the truth and uncover your choice of destiny. However if you would like to read the previous three posts you can by clicking the link below…
Now let’s dig in.
Before you go to work on your man, try to fix him, or try to fix your relationship you need to find out what TRUTH is.
What do you think truth is?
Most people think truth is something verifiable. Some people think their beliefs are “the truth”. Others think feelings are truth.
None of those are “the truth”. In fact, the truth is made up by what ever you say.
What? I can see your eyeballs bulging trying to figure out if I’m insane.
Consider that what you think is truth is just a series of beliefs, meanings, and things that were completely made up.
I’ll use an extreme example. It was the truth many years ago that women stayed home and didn’t work. That was a belief that was held for a long time. It was held as TRUTH.
Until it changed.
Everything in our world is built on what we believe to be true and not true. Until it’s proven otherwise.
So I challenge your beliefs of what you think are true. But I’ll get into that more in just a minute.
Why do you react the way you do?
Who’s driving your bus? Who makes decisions for you. It’s certainly not the you that you think. It’s actually all the past experiences you’ve used to create your model of the world. Your decisions and your experiences all shape who you are today. You react to things because something happened in the past that gave you some “truth” about how to act.
I’ve used examples like this before… if you were dating someone and they cheated you form an opinion about that situation. Your brain starts to “see” patterns that might give you an indication that your man is cheating. You do it without knowing you do it. And here’s the kicker, it’s happened so many times you believe what you’re interpreting as the truth. You see him talking to another woman and you immediately believe he is cheating.
That is your past experience being used to create a belief that you have as true.
As you can see, it’s the past that’s causing you to react the way you do.
In order to get to the TRUTH you first have to be ok that how you react may not be TRUE. Some people find it hard to give up being right long enough that their model of the world may not be the TRUTH. It’s like when people said the earth was flat. It’s hard to give it up until you challenge it.
I’m asking you to challenge it. Because when you do, you’ll find that you begin to gain power over being at the affect of life and truly gain a level of choice in your life.
What is choice, really?
One of the definitions of “Choice” by Merriam-Webster is the act of choosing and having a variety to choose from.
Consider that you’ve been living your life without choice. Because you’ve been reacting to things that happen given by your past and what you think is true, you haven’t been choosing anything.
It’s just been an illusion. In fact it’s your past that has been driving everything you do and you’ve never truly chosen anything.
So how do you choose? When an event happens you have to stop, before you react, and ask yourself why am I about to react this way. Think back to the earliest time you can remember that may have caused you to be that way. That past experience is what is causing you to react at a subconscious level. If you accept that and acknowledge that it no longer has to be that way, new openings for action arise.
You gain choice.
You see, it’s the choices and decisions you make that guide you down paths in life. It’s the meaning you give the results that shapes how you see the world. It’s how you see the world that gives you your actions.
Choice ultimately shapes your life.
How does choice shape your life?
Your actions are always congruent with how you see the world.
For instance, if you think your man is cheating (that’s how you see things) then you will act in accordance with that. All your actions will be given by your suspicion that he is cheating. And if that’s the case then you are shaping your life in that way.
If you can separate yourself from the meaning you’ve automatically given things and reassign a meaning you would be better suited to live with it’s possible to shape your life into anything that you want. And that zooms into your relationship as well.
If you are having relationship troubles then look to YOU first and ask yourself some questions…
Why do I react that way?
What meaning did I give that?
What do I make it mean about me?
What can I change the meaning into that would allow me to have new openings for action?
You’ll notice that everything begins to shift in your life and your relationship. Try it on. See how it works and let me know what your results are.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this short series and I’m sure if you’ve applied some of these strategies you will have already had a breakthrough in your relationship.
Love… to infinity and beyond.