Fun Bags, Tits, Hooters, Titties, Racks Oh My!

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Boobs, Please Your Man, Fun Bags, TittiesOh my goodness.  I’m sure this post is going to stir some crap.

Remember, you’re getting the REAL thoughts of a man about one of the most charged topics known to man. 

Boobs.

Yes, we have nick names for them.  Let’s see if I can come up with a few.  Smile

Fun Bags, Tits, Titties, Racks, Cans, Bazongas, Ta-Ta, Twins…

You get the picture.  The list goes on.  And here’s the thing, we don’t mean any disrespect to women or their boobs.

With great power comes great responsibility.

They actually have great power over us.  You see, there are only a few things in this world that can stop men in their tracks, completely wipe their mind clean of anything, and begin slobbering or mumbling. 

And any part of a boob is one of those things.

And I’m going to tell you, it’s not a controllable thing.  It just happens.  It’s as if it is built in. 

In fact it takes a lot of power and control to NOT look at them. 

Really, just a bit of side boob could be hanging out and we’re looking.  It could be 80 year old granny boobs and we’re looking. 

For REAL.  It’s an involuntary reaction. 

Ninja boob watching is the sneakiest.

We have even developed a method of boob watching that is extremely sneaky.  It’s so ninja it’s not even funny.

I call it “Peri-viewing”. 

It’s when you look at boobs through your peripheral vision.  Now, I’m not going to divulge to you exactly what that looks like because then you’ll throw a hissy fit when you see the look.

And that’s part of the problem.

If women understood that it’s NOT a disrespect thing and it’s an admiration thing maybe you wouldn’t be so up tight about boob watching.

We really do react to them.

Real story, and I’ll probably get beat for it.

I was in my office one day and a certain lady, I find very attractive and have been married to for over 15 years, came in and performed a diabolical 3-second “stun flash”.  She caught me in the middle of doing something.  By the time I saw the Boob flash I was stunned.  I could no longer think.  My fingers stopped typing, my mind went blank, then they were gone.

It all happen so fast but the 1-second that I caught them made the difference.  Not only are they burned into my memory in only a second (spank bank) but it rendered me useless for at least five minutes.   But it didn’t stop there because it invoked an involuntary reaction in the nether region that I couldn’t do anything about.

Ladies, you really do have the power.  But then you complain because we check out the boobs.  It’s ingrained and it is more unnatural to not look.

Cleavage in public and at work.

Now, I’ve got a bone to pick.  I know for a fact when a breeze blows and I have a hole in my shorts I feel it very easily.  With that I know when women are getting dressed and there is 6 to 12 inches of cleavage showing, you know it’s there. 

I can’t help myself.  And don’t tell me you don’t want to be gawked at.  I’ve talked to many women who say themselves, “They know what they’re doing.”

The bottom line is, I’ll do my best not to look but don’t get mad if you catch me peeking using my ninja skills.

And men who are married or are dating these women…  I know you want to see their cleavage. 

And if YOU can see it, so can I. 

So don’t get mad when you see me pulling the ninja maneuver on your girl.  We’ve both got the same animalistic instincts.

Now that I’ve probably pissed off half the country and given away some of the man secrets I’ll probably have my man card revoked.  But I’m hoping for the best.

Do me a favor, you got a complaint, leave a comment.  You agree, leave a comment.  You want us to talk about something juicy or something you’ve been wanting to know about men, leave a comment.

Till next time… I’m going boob watching!

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  2 comments for “Fun Bags, Tits, Hooters, Titties, Racks Oh My!

  1. May 3, 2012 at 10:19 am

    Okay dude! I’m not pulling your Man card but I think it is a necessary evil to place you on “Double Secret Probation”!
    Seriously, a good article and women need to know the affect they have on us men. Put them out there for us to see and guess what, we look. What a surprise.
    Good job.

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  2. Jay Simcic
    May 3, 2012 at 6:48 pm

    Thanks Bobby. I’m sure I upset a few ladies out there. And if we don’t get the word out and let them know what we’re thinking it’s always going to be a secret. They’ll continue to make things up about the stuff they don’t know about. I’d rather they know the truth.

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